A couple of weeks ago, Rendar and I saw Marc Maron do a live recording of his podcast. As those who worship the crabby but hilarious son of a bitch know, his fans often bring him baked goods. At the show we attended he was given the “turducken of baked goods”, a concoction that shook Olympus itself. What the fuck was it? It was none other than oreos, wrapped in cookie dough batter, baked in brownie mix. At that moment, the Fat Kid in me knew I had to have it. For weeks at the Omega Dinner Table, Rendar and I would mention what a glory it would be to consume such a genuine piece of Fat Ass America. This week though, our own Momma Omega laid it down. She was going to create this Slight on God.

It was wonderful. Upon biting in I proclaimed, “I feel like a piece of shit!” It didn’t stop me though. It was truth made carbohydrate.