This is Variant Covers. Keep your fucking fingers off the cover. Mind the spine, yo. The comic book column where I spit with vitriol, glee, and mostly confusion about the books dropping this week. Hit the comments section with derisive, witty, or contributory recommendations and comments.

Shazam.

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Thor: The Mighty Avenger #6
My friends, we have failed. As comic book reading collective, we have failed. Failed hard. Last weekend news leaked out that Thor: The Mighty Avenger was getting axed. This is nothing sort of a calamitous disregard for one of the most wondrous, beautiful mainstream titles hitting shelves. Canned, canned, canned. While other titles are hitting the shelves, depleted of quality, offering nothing new to existing mythos. I am significantly bummed out about this. Half of me wants to recommend nothing more than this title. A militant stance. But alas, there’s other worthwhile shit dropping, and that would be unfair to them.

But!, please, check this shit out tomorrow. The good news is that apparently they’ve been given the ability to wrap up the storyline by the final installment in January. You’re only six issues behind. It’ll cost you nothing more than something like twenty-four Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers. It’s a refreshing take on an existing origin. The dialogue is great, the artwork is gorgeous. Both of these creators, Roger Langridge and Chris Samnee will assuredly continue on doing dope work somewhere else.

But still. Hit this while you can.

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Elsewhere In the Marvel Universe:
Thankfully, I don’t think we’re failing in regard to following Hickman’s current work on the Fantastic Four. Tomorrow sees the release of Fantastic Four #585, which promises to work towards the conclusion of the “Three” storyline. I have a good idea that someone is going to die. I think maybe the storyline’s name gives that away. Hickman’s continues Reed Richard’s desire to solve everything while grounding it with a thunderous round of heart and humor. Last month when Ben Grimm got his one-week of humanity back, and went to see Alicia? I teared up. I know, fuck me.

Also dropping is Captain America #612 which follows Bucky as he goes on trial for his crimes as the Winter Soldier. While I like the story, and generally everything Brubaker does, I’m wondering how long he’s going to examine Bucky’s guilt over his past. Fair enough it’s been introspective to this point, and now he’s dealing with the public outrage regarding it. As I said, I still dig it. And finally, Invincible Iron Man #32 promises to be a slobberknocker, as Iron Man throws down with Detroit Steel. Fraction penned action scenes being realized by Salvador Larroca? I’m there.

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You know what! I had some niceties written out at the beginning of this opening, but Lord Electricity butt-fucked me without consent! Not a slow one, not a kind one, a vicious butt-drubbing. There was some sort of power outage and when I returned to the Electronic Tubing Ways, everything was deleted! Deleted! I have been felled by Lord Electricity!

What the fuck would I do without Lord Electricity? I resent how I must supplicate to him, offering him all my souls and orifices. For I need him, Lord Electricity, and the power he gives us, allowing me to employ various gadgets and happenings. My lord giveth, my lord can taketh awya.

Monday Morning Commute. Every Monday I’m going to detail the various things I’m either currently or will be watching, reading, playing, and listening to in the next seven days. It’s Monday. You’ve got a long week of school, work, or compulsive masturbation to get through. Tell me what you’re diggin’ on to get through the drudgery.

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[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

Karmic uppercuts be cemented in truth, Pepsibones the great has been banished from his own column. He saw fit to render me helpless and hijack Variant Covers on Tuesday, and for that I have returned the favor by supplanting him in this hypertextual mayhem. One column theft begets another!

Brian Wood’s Northlanders can probably sell you buying the comic on the concept of vikings, violence, and vulgarity alone. Furthermore, the fact that Brian Wood is writing the rag is motivation enough for me to read it. Wood’s DMZ is one of the densest, smartest comic books I’m digging on these days.

So!

The fact that Wood brings his intelligent, witty, and darkly humorous notions of power and prejudice amongst other things to the world of swords and vikings? Fuck you if you’re not reading this comic book.

Which in fact, means, fuck me up until today.

Northlanders #29 is a stand-alone issue, which makes it perfect for douchebags like me. Having not read the title, but wanting to get into it, I’ve been holding off for a jumping on point! Splash, motherfuckers! Jump on in, the water is warm, with invisible pools of urine slowly floating your way. Shazam! Muwahaha. But no seriously, grab this issue and welcome to the world of Northlanders. You don’t need any pre-existing knowledge of the world.

The issue is narrated by the character Dag. Now, I don’t know Dag. And I’m pretty sure he’s a new character, but I could be wrong. But within a few pages, Wood has you firmly entrenched in Dag’s plight. It’s the sign of a dope writer that can get you invested in a character in a short amount of time. Anyone can generate sloppy issue after sloppy issue and facilitate some sort of illusion of depth. But Wood’s Dag is so god damn real from the beginning that you’re with the dude.

Most of that righteous bullshit is achieved through D-Boy’s internal monologue, which reads like some straight up sexy and darkly humorous prose:

My name is Dag. Just Dag. Who my kin are is of little use or influence out here. What makes a man on the sea road is bringing the cargo in on time, and not fucking over the hired help.

Right now I’m losing on both counts.

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[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

Spoilers Ahead. Forreal.

I truly, genuinely and eagerly love comic books. Not just the tales of heroism and superpowered romps against villainy, but the medium itself. I find it inspiring that such a simple means of communication can convey fantastic ideas. Take some pictures, add some text if you feel up to it, stir it around in a bubbling creativity-churn and then you end up with whatever it was your brain was trying to squeeze out.

With nothing more than images and words an individual can do anything.

And this is exactly how I felt as I read the “Waterbreather” — the fourth issue of DEMO.

But let’s step back for a second. What exactly is DEMO? Well, originally it was an independently released twelve-issue miniseries by writer Brian Wood and artist Becky Cloonan. Each of these issues is a self-contained story, sometimes focusing on the supernatural but always highlighting the personal lives of young people. The series was a success, garnering a ton of critical acclaim (and therefore, commercial options) for both creators.

Six years later, DEMO has returned for its second volume; this time around, it’s a six-issue miniseries put out by Vertigo. Despite being published by a major imprint, the premise is essentially the same — each issue is a quirky, character-driven tale and is accompanied by notes, sketches, and commentaries by both Wood and Cloonan. It’s a sick format through and through, as the reader is treated to not only a great story but also some insight into what the creative mindsets were as it was being crafted. Maybe it’s the aspiring writer in me, but I love to read about what music creators were listening to or what personal trials they were dealing with while trying to maintain imaginative productivity.

This is only the second comic (the first being Doktor Sleepless) I have read in which the “Backmatter” is less about promoting the next issue and more about giving an authentic behind the scenes feature. As a result, the very structure of DEMO qualifies it as a praiseworthy book.

Luckily, DEMO also presents incredibly strong stories which use unique circumstances as vehicles for presenting relatable sentiments. “Waterbreather” tells the story of Colin, a down-on-his-luck preteen who has the misfortune of spending a summer vacation at a ramshackle campground. Terrorized by a pack of redneck/townie bullies, Colin is eventually beaten up and tossed into the lake. However, minutes go by and the victim never surfaces, which of course causes the bullies to freak out with the thought that they are now murderers.

What they don’t know is that Colin (as he is just learning himself) can breathe underwater. In fact, after finally resurfacing the youth feels as though inhaling air is now lackluster. He narrates,

And breathing air again felt thin and insubstantial. Like wasn’t getting…enough.

That feeling would stick with me.

The reader spends the remainder of “Waterbreather” with Colin as he explores the possibilities provided by his newfound skill. In the process, some weighty questions are dealt with. What happens when an individual uses an inherent ability for personal gain? Does being above average make it difficult to live amongst the humdrum? Is hindsight always 20/20 or will we always be presented with questions that have no answers?

And as well-crafted of a script as Woods presents, it really succeeds because of Cloonan’s dynamic art. At some points the artist fearlessly conquers every square inch of the page, filling in minute details wherever a blank space hopes to prevail. On the other hand, some of the most poignant panels of “Waterbreather” feature a single image that is bathed in a sea of negative space; this approach is especially effective as the artist limits herself to black-and-white.

Thinking on it now, I suppose the best phrase I can think of to describe Becky Cloonan’s visuals is applied appropriately. Every image that is laid onto the page has a proper place, as though it is a piece of a puzzle and nothing else would fit in that spot. Often, these puzzle-pieces are rather simple, allowing for the momentum of the plot to push the reader through the narrative. However, there are also many moments in which busy illustrations are necessary, such as a swirling underwater scene in which panic is the primary sensation. Every emotion is perfectly represented, and as a result the reader cannot help but become enthralled.

“Waterbreather” is a twenty-four page collection that introduces a character, makes us care about him, and then resolves his story. Clearly, Wood and Cloonan are a pair comfortable collaborating with one another, as both the story and its presentation are executed with a flourish of which dysfunctional couples are incapable. It is comics like this fourth issue of DEMO that should put on the pedestal, placed in plain view, and presented as evidence of the medium’s true value.

Because comics can help us do anything. Even breathe underwater.

[Suggested pairing: Thrice — Alchemy Index Volume II]