Orgasms are cool! I’m glad that Breath of the Wild made so many of my gaming friends orgasm! Me? Oh, I thought it was whatever. But, still! I’m glad that everyone who orgasmed over the title will have a sequel to blow their juices over.

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This is Monday Morning Commute! The column where we share, oh do we share, the various arts and miscellanies that are looking forward to in a given week. Speaking of this week?

Ohhh, we got ourselves a week, friends.

Ohhh, we got ourselves a panoply of tasty pop culture treats dropping this week, friends.

Well, okay. Not like, that many. But like, the ones that are arriving?

They’re certainly considerable for yours truly. Two follow-ups to a couple of personal favorites. The two of them? They’re enough to grease the rock this week, aid in my pushing of it up the hill.

So let’s get into it. Let us dive in.

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How are you folks, doing? Me? This human? This flesh-sack, organic-computer, consumption-bot? I’m doing fine.

It’s that weird period of the summer where I’m done teaching, but I still have to go into work.

Just enough of a busy schedule to spend an hour, hour-and-fifteen, or hour-and-a-half in my car, each way, for four days a week.

Just enough of a busy schedule to fight traffic to tutor a couple folks to sit idly waiting to see if anyone else is will need tutoring.

Invariably: they won’t.

Invariably: I’ll sit, eyes-crossed, soul-exhaling-a-continuous-malaise, browsing Tumblr, Facebook, whateverwhatever.

Invariably: then I leave, fighting traffic back to my domicile.

How are you folks, doing? Me? This human? This animated-rot, permanent-horndog, masturbation-factory? I’m doing fine.

This is Monday Morning Commute.

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Man, it’s been a hot minute since I opened up the Bar, huh? Whelp, ain’t got no excuse outside of the usual ones. Lethargy, malaise, a preference for staring at butts and memes over creating. You know, the usual shit. But! Fuck! I’m here. But! Fuck! I’m excited to spend the Weekend (Open Bar) with you folks.

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Man, it’s been a weird summer so far. Today marked the sixth, and final week of the summer class that I teach for incoming freshmen students. There’s just been something off since the get-go, and as its conclusion nears, a sense of confusion that it’s really ending, and a sense of relief that it’s really ending are both making themselves known. But it’s the end, the conclusion, the finale this week.

And for all my whimpering, simpering, and bitching, I only have to wear dress pants three more times until September.

And for all my whimpering, simpering, and bitching, I only have to work four days a week until September.

So here we are. Frazzled, and fried, but fairly grateful, all things considered.

This is Monday Morning Commute. The wank-off section, where we wank, and oh do we stroke, and rub, and perhaps even lick ourselves to the arts&farts we’re looking forward to on a given week. I’ll go first.

Then you go. Get excited. Don’t worry. Wet naps and warm towels will be dispensed per your request.

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