Here’s a “glimpse” at the new Mass Effect. But honestly it’s a whole goddamn pile of platitudes, empty rhetoric, “conceptual artwork” and happy horse shit. Someone give me a goddamn look at the actual game. Like, I’d take ten seconds of actually something over this minute+ of pretty much hot air.

Read the rest of this entry »

All team-up everything! Good guys! Villains! If your comic book movie doesn’t have more than one superhero in it, it doesn’t fucking matter. That’s a cosmic fact. Amazing Spider-Garfield 2 knows this.

Read the rest of this entry »

Jesus titty-fucking a kangaroo, this is dumb. We’re not even a year removed from Avengers fighting X-Men fighting Tediousness, and we have DC doing their best imitation of the Event. Oh sure I’m sure there will be marginal differences, but come on. Come onnn. The only thing more played out than the ennui-inducing concept of a super team is having those teams that populate a company’s universe fighting one another.

Read the rest of this entry »

Oh shit! Be prepared. It is almost Spring, which means that it is almost time for Marvel to launch their year OMFG no seriously this is serious Spring into Summer Mega Event. Steel yourself, as the Status Quo quivers under the notion that the Status Quo is actually Shaking Up the State Quo. (Wait, what?)

Read the rest of this entry »

Behold the House of Wonder! Hot off their event where the Superheroes Punch Each Other: Wasn’t Civil War A Couple of Years Ago?, they’re going to have the Punisher be morally ambiguous and take issue with other superheroes! Breathe it in!, the horror of fart-scented mediocrity.

Read the rest of this entry »