#September2012
Monday Morning Commute: An infinite amount of electrections!
Quickly! With rapidity. This is Monday Morning Commute, churned out on a break from work. There are scant words, so let us speak through Images and not Words or something.
Press Start: Nintendo Hamburger Hangover
Nintendo are keen on poking the bear this week. For the purposes of this metaphor I shall be playing the bear and the poking stick is represented by the recent glut of Wii U announcements. They’re poking me into a fevered state where I suddenly find myself compelled to pre-order a brand new console and then feel dirty about it afterwards. I have some genuine soul-searching to do.
‘BORDERLANDS 2’ golden key dares you to use it. Early. Often.
I’m not really sure if I’m getting a golden key with my copy of Borderlands 2. I ordered the most expensive copy I could find on Amazon, so if it I’m not getting it, I got fucked. The conceit behind the key is pretty awesome, and one that I quietly am hoping I can exploit to my own wonderment.
‘BORDERLANDS 2’ live action commercial gets me GRINDING my groin.
If it isn’t enough that I’m jazzed into infinity over Borderlands 2, the pigs have dropped a live action commercial on my ass. I first saw it yesterday during one of them football games, in a room packed full of bro dudes. As they chatted among themselves during the brief interlude from corporate sanctioned violence, I drank in the TV spot while absent mindedly rubbing at my zipper latch. The quality is a bit shit, so I’ll update when a high-quality rip drops.
‘BORDERLANDS 2’ Trailer: A guided tour of death and style.
With Borderlands 2 quickly approaching, it’s time to acclimate ourselves to its world and changes. That’s where Sir Hammerlock comes in quite handy. Let the hunter, scholar, and gentleman show you around the gorgeous killing fields.
‘BORDERLANDS 2’ SEASON PASS ANNOUNCED. $30 for all DLC. I’m thurr.
The Money Making Minds behind Borderlands 2 have announced a season pass for the upcoming title. Such a swag bag will entitle you to all of the game’s DLC for a mere $30. I’m not a computational wizard, but that shit is at least 50% off what you’d have to spend to buy it as it came out. As a dorkus who was going to snag all of the DLC and rub it so, so, so lovingly all over my own shanty towns, I’m excited.
Press Start: SWERY directs Shenmue 3 in my dreams
You know how some people are still waiting for hoverboards? Well, in the same way I’m still waiting for Motoko Kusanagi-style cyborg shells. Not that I want to be a 400 pound metallic hottie, more that I just want a set of unstoppable bionic eyes that don’t crap out on me between my relentless cycle of monitors. Playing video games is tough. It burns. Join me…..
‘BORDERLANDS 2’ COME AND GET IT TRAILER: Jesus is it September yet?
Which dude has totally already ordered the Borderlands 2 Super Deluxe Vault Hunter Wallet Fucking edition? This guy. I cannot wait for this goddamn game. Every time there is new material dropped into the advertising gullet from Gearbox, I find myself chugging Diet Mountain Dews and tying my happy noose around my auto-erotic neck. Somehow I wake up in my car, covered in blood and animal fur. I figure this is more or less just a fantastic way to prepare for this title.
