#September2013
‘DRAGON AGE: INQUISITION’ GAMEPLAY VIDEO: The Next Gen Treats Dragons Good
Dios mio, I am getting more and more excited for Teh Dragon Age III: Don’t Call It A Comeback. A gameplay video for the game has dropped, and it is fucking stunning. Oh next (next?) generation engines, you treat my testicles so well. Making them throb, vibe, vibrate in my pantaloons.
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Life-Sized Jack from ‘MASS EFFECT 3 is Papercraft Brilliance.
I say goddamn! An intrepid soul has created a life-sized Jack from Mass Effect 3. Now while I generally create my life-sized totems out of butter, leaves from an oak tree, and seminal fluids, this superior geek took a more esoteric route. Paper.
‘DRAGON AGE: INQUISITION’ bringing back CHARACTER RACES. G’damn right.
Dragon Age: Let’s Try This A Third Time is bringing back a much missed component for its third entry. Motherfucking character creation! Hell yes! How the Hell can I build my totem in the toilet out of love, blood, and muck to my character, when I can’t even design my character? Are we playing roles or what?
‘DRAGON AGE: INQUISTION’ graces GAME INFORMER’S SEPTEMBER COVER.
We now know the September blowout contained within the pages of Game Informer. That shit is nothing other than Dragon Age: Inquisition. I’ve loved the first two installments of the franchise in differing degrees, and I’m sure I’ll love this one. What I want more than anything from this installment is a steady fucking aesthetic and game design that’ll persist. This third game seems to be yet another iteration of the franchise, changing up approaches from both the first and second titles. Aiight, cool. But let’s try and create one that’ll fucking stick. Define your universe, friends. Then own it.
Hit the jump for deets, as well as the cover.
New BIOWARE FRANCHISE coming from ‘KOTOR’ and ‘MASS EFFECT’ creators. Bio-Boner.
It’s neat enough that the Gears of Bro: Judging You producer is helming the Mass Effect franchise. It’s even neater that this is freeing up the creators of the series to strike out into a new franchise. A new world! A whole new world, filled with dialogue choices and reputation systems!
‘DRAGON AGE: INQUISITION’ coming in 2014. Will probably feature more than one location.
Hopefully the third time is a charm for Dragon Age. Despite liking both the titles, I’ve found each to be oozing imperfection in a different way. The first game? A bit stock in its Universe. The second game? There was like two locations.
PIGS IS PIGS: ELECTRONIC ARTS snags exclusive ‘STAR WARS’ video game rights.
I want to be bitter about the fact that the fat ass Leviathan that is Electronic Arts has snagged the Star Wars franchise. However, maybe this means that they’ll churn out some space-worthy adventures. Just imagine! It has potential. For example, if this results in KOTOR 3, I’m going to jizz all over my belly.
BioWare: Don’t number the next ‘MASS EFFECT’ #4. Like, chill man.
Herein, BioWare goes through a wordy explanations as to why we shouldn’t number the next Mass Effect. Some of their explanation is obvious: Shephard’s story is over. Some of it is confusing: if our actions may have affects, and it takes place after, who cares if we call it Mass Effect 4? Hey. Whatever. It doesn’t matter what it is titled, I’m going to be there.
Casey Hudson: Should next ‘MASS EFFECT’ take place BEFORE or AFTER Shepard’s mission?
BioWare’s Lead Satisfied With Himself Director Casey Hudson recently asked if we, the fans, would prefer the next installment of Mass Effect to take place before or after the Shepard Saga. Bro, here’s a fucking option: have some conviction about something. Holy shit. Between polling for Dragon Age 3, changing the ending to Mass Effect 3 (it sucked, but you caving sucks more) and now this, I’m flummoxed. Does the dude have any inspiration? Or is he and the rest of BioWare running around trying to jerk off every fan? I mean, Jesus Christ. I thought the thirteen different play styles they stuffed into ME3 was indicative of them losing their creative way, but this poll is ridiculous to me. Make an excellent piece of software, and leave it to us monkey-minded proles to decide if we like it. Craft a narrative that you find engaging, and then leave it up to us to either agree or disagree with your vision.
BioWare Montreal working on ‘MASS EFFECT’ game, and it runs on Frostbite.
My first response is “Ah, dog shit! Why isn’t BioWare proper working on the next Mass Effect game?” Then I recall the steaming shit they slithered down my throat at the conclusion of the first trilogy, and everything doesn’t seem so awful.
