#September2016
Bill Nye is getting a talk show on Netflix titled ‘Bill Nye Saves the World’
Well, why not? Netflix is vacuuming up all of my childhood and late adolescent artifacts and regurgitating them into the streaming-pipes. So, again. Why not Bill Nye, who has seemingly enjoyed a wonderful resurgence over the past couple of years.
LET’S CROWDFUND A F**KING SPACE TELESCOPE. Asteroid mining company turns to Kickstarter.
Planetary Resources Inc is turning their eyes towards us, folks. They want us to help crowdfund a space telescope that they intend on using to look for asteroids to mine. Should you choose to help out, there are all sorts of bonuses. Unfortunately, none of them are a perk which allows you to find your own space asteroid, and crown yourself king of it. Ala motherfucking Magneto and shit. Drats. None the less, you down?
Face of a Franchise: TV Scientist!
[face of a franchise presents two individuals that’ve fulfilled the same role. your task — choose the better of the two and defend your choice in the rancor pit that is the comments section]
Those who try to tell you that we’re living in the year 2012 are wrong. Well, they’re not so much wrong as they are missing the bigger picture. When you step back and look at all of the technology at our disposal — instantaneous global communication, metal eagles that carry us in their hollowed-out torsos, 4D movies — there’s no denyin’ where we’re living.
The future.
As residents of the future, it’s our duty to make sure that the next generation will continue to revere not only technological advancements, but also the sciences that create them. Kids’re all sorts of crazy-good at playing video games and sending text messages and even making music videos, but they don’t usually want to know how all this shit is possible. And they won’t listen to their parents! They think that parents just don’t understand! Consequently, we must seek the assistance of those folks that kids actually trust.
Television personalities.
But a new question quickly emerges – which wacky television scientist reigns supreme? While there’re plenty of contenders, two have baking-soda and vinegar’d their way to the forefront. Let’s take a look, shall we?
From 1992 to 1997, Beakman’s World graced Saturday morning television with equal parts scientific discovery and zany comedy. Each episode saw the titular Beakman (portrayed by Paul Zaloom) performing all sorts of experiments in an attempt to learn the kids a lesson or two. However, Beakman’s laboratory was a haven of hilarity, attracting such veritable characters as his female assistants (the strangely attractive Alanna Ubach during the golden age known as season one) and Lester, the anthropomorphic lab rat.
Hyperkinetic, crude, and wild-haired, Beakman is the perfect mad scientist to teach the kids about the wonder of science.
On the other hand, from 1993 to 1998 Bill Nye the Science Guy offered a more academic exploration of physical properties and empiricism and all that other jazz. Host Bill Nye did his best to foment keen interest, using kid-friendly television techniques like fast-motion and kooky graphics. Unlike Beakman, Nye steered clear of theatrics and fart-jokes, preferring to keep his laboratory and bathroom separate. Which isn’t to say that Nye was a stick in the mud, as nearly every episode ended with a gut-bustin’ music video parody.
Dignified, jocular, and kempt, Bill Nye is the role model empiricist that we hope our children become.
So, who’s the better television scientist — Beakman or Bill Nye?