Hey friends! Happy fucking Fourth of July Weekend! I wanna open up the Bar, so we can spend some time together the next couple of days. But, I’m pressed as fuck for time! Which means I gotta do it quicker than a motherfucker. So, I’m going to ask you to come hang out! Tell me! What are you doing to celebrate, if anything? Let me know! Blowing up phalanges with fireworks? Eating seared animal flesh? Watching Jaws? I want to know!

Read the rest of this entry »

Oh glory be to the toilets in Japan. With Burger King over there dropping a limited time all-you-can-eat buffet, the stupendous dumps erupting out of groaning and fatigued buttholes are going to be fantastic. I mean, right? Don’t frown. You know that it’s true.

Read the rest of this entry »