#April2015
Rumor: Batfleck appearing in ‘Suicide Squad’ before his solo flick. ‘Cause Batman.
DC knows what you want, fuckers! They have studied your genitals’ heat fluctuations. The ones that occur when they murmur superheroes’ names into your ear-brain while you sleep. And they’ve found that you pretty much only give a shit about Batman. So you’ll get him. In everything.
Fincher, Affleck, and Gillian Flynn remaking ‘Strangers On A Train’
Ben Affleck, David Fincher, and Gillian Flynn are remaking Strangers On A Train. That’s right. The whole posse from that Gone Baby Girl Girl Gonehood flick teaming up once again.
‘Gone Girl’ TV Spot: I Better Learn My Wife’s Blood Type
I’m pretty sure in this TV spot for Gone Girl, the fact that Batman doesn’t know his wife’s blood type is used against him. Like, to prove he’s a murderer or something? Anyways, I’m pretty excited for this movie.
All The Frowns: DC has dropped new official image of Ben Affleck as Batman
Here’s a new look at Batfleck, folks. For what it’s worth. And we are at a crossroads, too. Or rather, I am. And really, I don’t fucking matter, so who even gives a shit where I am? Anyways. I’ll indulge myself.
Batfleck’s Cowl for ‘Batman v Superman’ revealed at SDCC
This is mad late to post. I know you’ve already seen it. Whatever, I’m a busy guy. So here it is anyways. Batfleck’s cowl. Let’s justify this bullshit posting. What do you think? Do you like it? Why? Why not? #DumbTeacherPrompts
Rumor: First BATFLECK solo movie dropping in 2019
When is the first Batfleck solo movie dropping? Apparently 2019, which will mark it as a staggering nine fucking years since The Dark Guy Survives An Atomic Bomb.
Revealed! BATFLECK’S SUIT and BATMOBILE. MUCH SAD.
Oh Jesus Christ. Just sadness and gray everywhere. We get it. We get it. Bat-Guy is way sad, always. What do you folks think? I’m just a little played out on the Brood and Gloom DCU. You dig it? I’m glad for you. seriously. But I’ll be getting drunk with Thor and smashing things while giggling all the while. Want all the pixels? Here it is in super high-definition.
Rumor: MATT DAMON for AQUAMAN in ‘JUSTICE LEAGUE’
*Insert innumerable jokes about Batman and Aquaman talking to each other in Boston accents. Asking each other how they like apples. Maybe combing Robin Williams’ beard. Final sentence ends the post with shot at Zack Snyder and all the creative powers that be at DC Entertainment.*
