Oh, holy shit! The Bayonetta demo came out today, and I obviously downloaded it almost instantly and played it with my pants off. Duh! Double duh! And my first impressions? It really, truly, genuinely is Devil May Climax. I know that Bayonetta’s creator is also Devil May Cry’s, but god damn. Kamiya, you truly don’t give a fuck. The inventory system is identical, the story even seems to have the requisite foil for Bayonetta – some other chick with glasses and shit.

The entire experience is fucking bananas. Like, I really had no idea what was going on when the shit started. The game throws you into some battle with a zillion enemies that look like, that’s right, Devil May Cry clones. One thing I was digging on the fact that the game is decently difficult. I had to adjust my desired play technique, which was juggling the shit out of enemies and hoping other baddies around me couldn’t snap me out of a combo.

It’s been a while since I played DMC, but I thing you’re invincible during a combo, and can’t be interrupted for the most part.

Whoops. This shit forces you to dodge, or die.

At one point I was spinning on some weapon round and round like a god damn stripper, while shooting people with my shoes. That’s the sort of shit we’re dealing with here.

During the middle of some battle, I think it was a boss battle, the game commanded me to smash a button to climax. Yeah, you’re inputting commands to climax. And then Bayonetta went all bat-shit crazy and unleashed a torrent of ass-whupping and…stuff happened. I really don’t know what’s going on during combat for the most part,it’s all too much for even my over-caffeinated, twitching senses.

Bayonetta really ain’t going to be anything other than Devil May Cry starring some chick in leather and with gravity-breaking curves. I’m cool with that. But if you’re expecting anything more, you’re probably going to be bummed out. But let me repeat, it’s Devil May Cry, starring a chick with guns for high-heels. Don’t be a douche.