#October2016

Views From The Space-Ship: There Will Be Fruit Vomit

desktop-thursdays-the-walls

Thursday! Desktop Thursdays! High and mighty Desktop Thursdays! The weekly window into the Existential Walls of Banality! that configure my life! Come, come, come! Bask in my mundanity, my mendacity, my overall banality! Then! And only then! Please share looks into your own lives in the comments section!

Read the rest of this entry »

Monday Morning Commute: nanobot-induced autoerotics

If there was one thing Grandpa was good for at Thanksgiving, it was sniffing a legion of nanobots before sitting down at the dinner table. There was an inevitable moment during the passing of the animal-flesh and the smashed-starches where his slackened, tired jaw would clench-up. Science retrieving something scattered decades ago by the natural progression of his Meat Case. Somewhere between that third fucking scoop of potatoes his eyes would dilate. His neck would kink. And as he tried to keep his hands from jittering upon the wooden offering-plank, a barely audible moan would escape them cracked lips.

“Oooh, the potatoes” he would murmur. False teeth clacking. “Ohhh, this turkey. Th-the gravy” he would gasp. We tried not to stare. When you’re one-hundred and thirty-four you write your own rules. None of us said a word, but we all knew the goddamn truth. That withered one man’s dick was titillated. An orgy of chemicals in his veins, an orgy of nanobots in his balls prodding his phallus into a seemingly-impossible climax.

Goddamn Grandpa and his goddamn nanobot-induced autoerotics.

—-

This is Monday Morning Commute. Share what you’re up to this week.

Read the rest of this entry »

Marvel’s Next Event Is ‘PUNISHER WAR ZONE’, Featuring The Saltine Banality of Recycled Wonder

Behold the House of Wonder! Hot off their event where the Superheroes Punch Each Other: Wasn’t Civil War A Couple of Years Ago?, they’re going to have the Punisher be morally ambiguous and take issue with other superheroes! Breathe it in!, the horror of fart-scented mediocrity.

Read the rest of this entry »