It appears that Elizabeth Olsen is going to be in Avengers: Jarvis is Pissed. I suppose when you’re Samuel L. Jackson, you can pretty much just shit on the face of embargoes and secrets and stuff. Right?

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Oh golly! It’s a high-quality copy of that Avengers: Age of Ultron teaser that showed at SDCC. It’s old voice overs, but a pretty sexy logo. Which you have already seen. That is about it. So um, enjoy it.

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James Spader. Don’t really think of him as a huge-movie, comic book motherfucker. But come 2015, all of that is going to change. The actor has signed on to play Ultron in Avengers: Age of Ultron Robots People. Interesting choice. I mean, I’m sure he’s capable. And wonderful. He’ll rock that dastardly robotic cock-fart excellently. Right? Still though, didn’t see this coming.

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Lest you have forgotten, Avengers: Age of Ultron is going to double the amount of comic book characters on screen. By triple. Don’t run the math, it works. Trust me. One of the new characters debuting is Scarlet Witch. Who will be playing her? Maybe Elizabeth Olsen. Maybe.

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When I first came across this story, the headlines were sexier than the actual nougat. Why does the nougat never taste as delicious on my tongue-tip? Eh?

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So, wait. Maybe I don’t have to delve into the recent Age of Ultron mega-event-thing that ravaged the Marvel titles on the shelves (unless you folks assure me that it provokes prostate pleasure. Jossy Whedon has gone on record stating that his Avengers sequel of the same exact name won’t be the same exact story.

Oh.

Aiight.

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Fucking Christ, SDCC. I’m supposed to be drinking with friends, bowling and shit. Then you drop this fucking news on a Saturday night. So uh, yeah. The Avengers sequel has an official title.

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