#January2020
Scientists find evidence of second planet orbiting the star closest to the sun, Proxima Centauri. Wild, wild times.
Scientists have made a discovery, friends! They’re always up to that fucking shit. This particular discovery? That of a second exoplanet orbiting Proxima Centauri, the star closest to our own.
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Humans are sending 3 New Rovers to Mars in 2020 to search for life. Let’s go, Martians! Reveal yourselves.
Humans are sending three new rovers to Mars in 2020. All in an effort to find signs of life. For fuck’s sake, which one of you rovers is going to step up?
Hubble takes gorgeous image of galaxy’s spiral, and bulge. Hubba hubba, hubble.
Hubble out there, friends! Snapping images. Capturing bulges. I’m here for it!
Jupiter has new Texas-sized storm around its South Pole. Don’t ever stop being wild, my dude!
Jupiter! Ain’t ever gonna stop with its massive, existentially nauseating-sized storms. It’s got itself a new one near its South Pole!
Astronomers have spotted one of the most distant galaxies ever. Meet MAMBO-9!
MAMBO-9! It’s on of the most distant galaxies ever spotted! And, it’s also a deeply blown opportunity to name a galaxy after Lou Bega. Win some, lose some, I guess.
Asteroid Bennu is exploding rocks out into space and astronomers don’t know why. The Cosmos continues to confound!
Asteroid Bennu more active than a motherfucker. Astronomers have spotted the asteroid exploding rockers out into space, and they’re stumped. Goddamn, the Cosmos is so damn interesting.
Astronomers have spotted first Galaxy with three supermassive black holes. Write your own jokes, kthnx!
For decades, Astronomy Wizards thought galaxy NGC 6240 contained two supermassive black holes. But, motherfuckers were off by one! That’s right, NGC 6240 got 33% more black holes than previously thought. Awesome.
Confirmed: Jupiter’s moon Europa has water geysers. Fucking WATER GEYSERS, friends!
Oh, hell yeah. Jupiter’s moon Europa? That motherfucker? It’s got actual water geysers. Confirmed. It had been suspected, but now we know. And, fuck, let’s get out there ASAP.
Voyager 2 has sent back its first scientific date from interstellar space. Interstellar space data, people!
Man, what a dichotomy we are as humans. On one hand, we’re warring over fuels, Imaginary People in the Sky, and greed. Real monkey shit. At the same time? We’re getting data back from beyond the solar system, courtesy of Voyager 2! Interstellar space data!
NASA scientists say interstellar object contains alien water. I mean, how goddamn cool is this?
Apparently, NASA scientists have discovered that the second-ever interstellar comet contains alien water. Interstellar water! How fucking cool is this?
