#February2021
China’s rover has discovered “unusual” rock shard on the Moon. Aliens, we see you!
Let’s be clear: this unusual rock shard that China’s rover has discovered is either proof of aliens, or an Illuminati moon base. Simply put, it could be nothing else. Nothing!
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Hubble finds a concentration of small black holes. Write your own joke, kthnx!
Black holes! They’re usually fucking huge. But, not always! Hubble has found a small concentration of them. Which is rad, because it helps us better understand black holes in general. Let us master the fucking cosmos, friends!
China’s Tianwen-1 has successfully entered orbit around Mars. Hell yeah, fellas!
China’s Tianwen-1 has successfully entered orbit around Mars, motherfuckers! As I always say: I know China is problematic as fuck. But if we’re only rooting for space missions tethered to non-problematic countries or companies, we’re never going to be rooting. So fuck yes. I’m stoked.
Astronomers have discovered solar system with six stars. Yo, that’s just excessive.
Man, one solar system is fucking acting out. The motherfucker in question, who goes by the name of TIC 168789840, has got six goddamn stars! Six. My word, dude. Calm down, stop flexing. Et cetera, et cetera.
Most distant quasar discovered has the mass of 1.6 billion suns. Holy hell!
As I often say around these parts, space is fucking nuts. Like, how do we comprehend this shit? A quasar with the mass of 1.6 billion suns! It’s beyond the understanding of our monkey minds. But, that’s why I love it so much.
Scientists detect strange-ass radio signal coming from closest star, Proxima Centauri! I want to fucking believe.
Listen, well know this radio signal coming from our closest star Proxima Centauri ain’t an alien signal. I mean…right? But, like, what if? Either way, this is a sweet fucking development.
NASA says a supermassive black hole is missing! No cause for concern, folks!
Hey, no big whup! Don’t panic! Don’t tug at your pubes in existential worry and sublimity. We just got a case of a supermassive black hole missing, according to NASA.
China’s Moon Probe has begun its return trip to Earth. With rocks! Safe passage, little buddy.
China’s Chang’e-5 probe has begun its return to Earth! This is a dope development. However, even more dope is the motherfucker is bringing with it some rocks from La Luna! Here’s hoping duder returns intact.
Chinese Lander sends back colored photos of the Moon. This is the content I’m here for!
Yup! Ain’t posted since Sunday, life been busy as fuck. That said, why not return with some gloriously astronomical content? China’s lunar lander Chang’e-5 has sent back colored photos from the fucking moon!
Scientists have detected an unexplained glow in deep space. Don’t fuck with it, fellas!
On one hand, it’s pretty fucking cool that scientists have detected an unexplained glow. In the dark of deep space. On the other hand, you know, please don’t fuck with it.
