#October2013
IT RAINS DIAMONDS ON SATURN AND JUPITER. Wut. It’s Chemistry, bitch!
Fuck blood diamonds. I’m finna be grabbing myself some fucking cosmic diamonds. Now apparently this is old news or some shit, but I had no goddamn idea. Time to fire up the rocketship kickstarter and explain how I’m going to make you your money back.
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ASTRONOMERS find ROGUE PLANET with NO SUN. Intergalactic Jack Bauer ++
Sweet Nipple Squirts, the planet has gone rogue! Apparently watched too many episodes of 24. Decided to take affairs into its own hands. Astronomical Wizards have identified a Rogue Planet with no sun. You know, just floating through the fucking cosmos and shit.
NASA’S CURIOSITY has FOUND F**KING WATER IN MARS’ SOIL
Yeah, boiii! Pull out your space-genitals of choice and slap them lightly to this news. NASA’s Curiosity Rover has found water (molecules) in the soil on Mars. Dope as fuck.
NASA is going to begin FARMING LETTUCE IN SPACE. SPACE LETTUCE.
Yeah, NASA. Make that space lettuce. Grow it all up in that orbit or whatever. We’re…We’re talking about weed, right? A whole group of astronauts getting higher and basking in the dark welcoming bosom of Oblivion. Seems fantastic.
…wait. Real lettuce? I suppose that’s cool too.
NASA’S CURIOSITY ROVER is now DRIVING ITSELF ON MARS. Skynet cackles.
Oh yeah this is totally cool. To-ta-lly. That little fucking robot on Mars is no longer doing our bidding, finally switching over to its autonomous navigation. This is all cute and shit until it builds its first colony of nanobot assassins.
TUCAN enjoy this picture of the PELICAN NEBULA!
Tucan! You can! Get it? Whatever. I see the Pretty Picture! In false colors and other manipulations! I think the picture is pretty, so that means I love the science. That’s how it works on the Internet these days, right? Right! Phew.
(Hit the jump for more info + the full image.)
Behold VENUS and the ULTRAVIOLET SUN
Yeah! Man! Must be the dirty undies I’ve been huffing all day, because this picture looks out of control. Just the Sun looking all sorts of outstanding because of a Venusian eclipse. The colors, man! Popping.
The Milky Way Galaxy’s MAGELLANIC STREAM is a pretty ribbon.
The southern hemisphere of our galaxy is gassy. Much like my southern hemisphere. Unlike my own Tootin’ Corner (as I call it), the reasons for the Milky Way Galaxy’s ribbon of potentially star-forming gas are much, much more epic.
Hit the jump to behold the Magellanic Stream! Oh, and some more info.
NO WAIT — VOYAGER 1 left our SOLAR SYSTEM LAST YEAR. LOLWUT.
I have to enjoy small victories in life. Like when I watch people far, far, far more intelligent than me trip all over themselves. Take for instance: those Astronomical Wizards who keep trying to figure out if Voyager 1 has left our solar system.
NASA abandons repair plans for KEPLER TELESCOPE. Goodnight, Sweet Prince.
After finding roughly three-fucking-zillion exoplanets, it appears that the Kepler telescope is no longer going to hunt for the little balls of hope out there in the cosmos. It was a good goddamn run. But it needs repairs to maintain its accuracy, and NASA says they probably wouldn’t take.
