Google Glass! You poor sack of shit! You were cool for like nine minutes! But then Oculus Rift rolled up and nabbed the attention you were garnering. Pulled down your pants, dismissively flicked your beans, and then stole your bae. But apparently you ain’t taking this laying-lying-laying down. No! You sure ain’t, and 2015 is going to be your year. With your buddy Intel helpin’ out.

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I could say I understand the jist of these new details, but I’m just like “oh shit new Xbox details. I don’t understand them with my fat brain, but I know I want it.” Do you understand these details? Are you excited like me? It’s a cucumber in my pants, chill out.

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…How long will we augment reality before we just call it reality? Eh, just something that fall out of my ass right now. More relevant to this whole news post thing is me telling you that a patent Google registered totally points towards a helmet to compliment their AR glasses. This doesn’t make sense.

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Welcome the future, where everything is amazing and glimmers. Save for when it’s rotting in glorious dystopian fashion. Anyways. Busy? Need to snag some groceries? Now using the power of augmented reality, South Koreans can get their shopping done. In the subway.

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