As The Ant-Man Turns. From Wright leaving, to three directors being considered, to apparently Adam McKay being offered the gig. Busy fucking week! Busy fucking day! He ain’t fucking Wright, okayIknowthat, but I think I could really enjoy McKay helming the project.

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A shortlist of the directors that could replace Edgar Wright on Ant-Man has been revealed. And while there’s no replacing Wright, and it seems awkward that someone is going to be helming his brain baby, there are certainly worse directors than the ones revealed. (Better ones too, okay, granted.)

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So after like four days or whatever (three years if you’re counting the time I spent in my Time Shed after this calamity), I’m not as distraught about Edgar Wright leaving Ant-Man. Actually. That’s probably a lie. But even as the wounds try to heal, more news continues to trickle out. When this story first broke, one of the surprising morsels was that the script rewrites were ordered by someone above MCU Czar Mind-Lord, Kevin Feige. But apparently! That ain’t true.

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TL:DR EDITION FOLKS: Edgar Wright has left Ant-Man over a fucking dreadful script rewrite. A rewrite that wasn’t brought on by Kevin Feige, but rather high-up Disney No Knowing Dick Lord Czars. Maybe just as concerning? Joss Whedon supports Wright, so lord knows if the Fanboy King will persist in the MCU after finishing Avengers: Age of Ultron.

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The MCU was going way too smoothly, right? This was bound to happen. Eventually. Shame that this announcement MAKES MY ASSHOLE QUIVER WITH SADNESS. One of the most anticipated flicks in the MCU with one of my favorite directors has now found that relationship sundered.

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Shh. Can you hear that? It’s subsonic vibrations vomiting down the Omnipresent Now, hinting at the reality that fucking Edgar Wright is doing an Ant-Man movie. In case you forgot. ‘Cause it’s easy to let things slip out of our meat-skulls with the relentless pop culture news cycle. But word, Ant-Man is coming folks, and here is how the movie that ain’t arrived yet influenced The Avengers.

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HEY FRIENDS. I was fucking busy today! So I didn’t get around to commenting on (to myself, and like that one weird guy in the corner with the gnarly erection and killer Reebok Pumps) the various news and notes from the around the internet in the past 24 hours. Instead of shuddering in a fluid-covered shell of inadequacy over my failure, I figure’d I would round these links up in one tight package.

After the jump! Pre-Sequels, Sequels to Classics, More Dumb Comic Book Movie News, and More!

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Patrick Wilson was Owl-Guy in Zack Snyder’s fetishistic, slow-motion driven, intellectually challenged rendition of Watchermen. Now he’s back to the comic book stable, joining the cast of Ant-Man.

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Despite being in the middle of a miserable, underdeveloped, brutally shoehorned love triangle, I enjoyed Evangeline Lilly in that disastrous riot of suck that was the second Hobbit movie. Whew! Holy run-on sentence! So with that in mind, you say she’s up for the female lead in Ant-Man? I say fuck yeah! And it could be Wasp? Double fuck yeah.

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To…old…one? What the fuck am I trying to say? Well — I didn’t want to say “release date” twice, but then I got vague. Oh, whatever. We’re not here for that. We’re here to celebrate the Man of Steel franchise doing something good! You see, when Batman vs. Superman vs. Aquaman vacated its planned 2015 date, it allowed something magical to occur. Namely, it allowed Ant-Man to drop sooner!

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