#March2019

Angelina Jolie in talks to join Marvel’s ‘Eternals’ movie. I mean, sure, why not?

angelina jolie marvel eternals

I don’t really have any opinion about this. Jolie is a good actress. As well, I’ve assumed that all talent in Hollywood will eventually be cast into a Marvel or DC movie.

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Rumor: ‘Tomb Raider’ movie reboot seeking female director

raidering tombz

Well, shit. Maybe Uncharted can’t get itself off the ground, but its predecessor which also riffed on That Indiana Jones Vibe seems to be pursuing a new movie. You know, Tomb Raider or whatever. I’m opaque. And clumsy.

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Rumor: Marvel wants Angelina Jolie to direct ‘Captain Marvel’

these two together mebbe

I have no idea if Angelina Jolie can direct. But Marvel wants her to. Maybe.

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APPLE hit by same CHINESE HACKERS who attacked Facebook last week. It’s on!

HACK THE PLANET.

Oh, you know there be some cyber warfare afoot. How do I know? You can riff its pungent scent among the air. It smells like generic tropes of nerdery, including Cheetos-stained fingers, heavy metal music, and most importantly Angelina Jolie. When will I disassociate her and Hackers from actual hacking? Never.

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Rumor: Angelina Jolie To Direct ‘FIFTY SHADES OF GREY’; This Makes Too Much Sense

Fifty Shades of Grey has been making uncomfortably-sourced panties soggy (my Mom read it) for the past couple of months, and as such there is the inevitable movie adaptation. Now one of our generation’s most sexualized ladies is in the running to direct. Maybe. Can she star?

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