Talk about Blizzard rubbing their slick, sweaty testicles with their talons, and then rubbing those same grimy-ass talons on our face. Their big Diablo reveal was a fucking mobile game. Just. Man. All that Diablo hype and anticipation. For this.

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Do you know what is the absolute point of reference for deciding if something is *fast*, friends? If it’s as fast as an eagle dive bombing freedom-hating cretins. That’s, uh, the takeaway from this playthrough.

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