Man, fuck Error 37! It’s dog crap. Hogwash. I wish someone would totally do something  about it. Like what? I don’t know, maybe raid Blizzard’s office or something.

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No long-wined exposition necessary. Cracked presented a compelling argument as to why Mario is a douchebag. Hilarious.

Hit the jump to check it out.

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Tweets can now be cited in academic papers. Many will recoil over this. I fucking love it.

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I’m not a parent. Okay? So I can’t relate. But there’s something amusing – seriously amusing – to me about children seeing things that they either really shouldn’t be seeing, or are aghast and confused by. Like this. Sesame Street’s YouTube was hacked, and some good old fashion porn was thrown onto it.

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Funny or Die has dropped this fucking gem today. Don Cheadle as Captain Planet. I’m not going to ruin anything, but I was that creepy guy laughing his ass off. All alone. A single tear-drop down his face.

Hit the jump to check it out.

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Oh real-life, you are so awesome sometimes. Also us nerds, we’re pretty much awesome all the time. In a variety of ways: really awesome, ironically awesome, pathetically awesome. This is a case of all of the above. There’s an actual superhero in Seattle. His name is Phoenix Jones. He changes in the back of a comic book shop. This is all true. And last Sunday in Lynwood, Washington, Jones thwarted a carjacker.

This is tremendous.

A real-life deranged dude who is something out of Kick-Ass is taking crime into his own hands. A tip of the cap to you, Mr. Jones. When you’re fatally shot and bleeding out in the middle of a street after trying to stop a robber from escaping from a convenience store, I will be the first to begin writing your effusive eulogy.

Hit the jump for Jones in action.

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This shit is out of control. Welcome to the fucking future. Word Lens is an app for an iPhone which translates languages in real time. Somehow, the world just got a little bit smaller. And more awesome. How fucking ridiculous is this? Goddamn, I love the time period I live in.

Hit the jump for a video of it in action.

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What are we going to do when we consummate the inevitable? You know, destroying the Earth? Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I’ll be throwing a fucking kegger on Rhea. It appears that one of Saturn’s sixty moons has a breathable atmosphere.

io9:

Saturn’s icy moon Rhea has an oxygen and carbon dioxide atmosphere that is very similar to Earth’s. Even better, the carbon dioxide suggests there’s life – and that possibly humans could breathe the air.

It seems oxygen is far more abundant than we ever suspected, particularly on moons that seem to be completely frozen solid. We recently found evidence of oxygen on Jupiter’s moons Europa and Ganymede, and now this finding on Europa. In fact, because the region of space surrounding Saturn’s rings has an oxygen atmosphere, it’s thought even more of the icy moons within the gas giant’s magnetosphere likely have little atmospheres of their own.

According to new data from the Cassini probe, the moon’s thin atmosphere is kept up by the constant chemical decomposition of ice water on the surface of Rhea. It’s likely that Saturn’s fierce magnetosphere is continually irradiating this ice water, which is what helps to maintain the atmosphere. Researchers suspect a lot of Rhea’s oxygen isn’t actually free right now, but is instead trapped inside Rhea’s frozen oceans.

Maybe. Fucking scientists. Someday there will be a statement that has the words “absolutely” or “certainly” or “positive” that I can get psyched for.   I’m waiting for the proclamation that’s like “Definitely hot chicks and Mountain Dew on Mars! Plus, small boners are cool there.” Try and stop me from getting on that space shuttle.