#August2013
US GOVERNMENT confirms AREA 51 EXISTS. NO DUH.
Da-durr! Isn’t this exciting. The United States government has confirmed the existence of Area 51. No whoop! Like, we totally knew that already though. Didn’t we? Shit, they already go into that place in that one documentary. The one with the fighter pilot and the quirky scientist? Independent Days or whatever. I mean — c’mon United States government. At least pay attention to your own culture.
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Opinions Vary: You’re Special
You’re special. Doesn’t that feel good to hear? There is only one you in the whole, wide world. The feeling of being special is an innate function of the human psyche. Of course it comes in a million different shapes and forms, but our primal need to feel special drives much of the world as we know it. Today we are going to examine this phenomenon through my jaded little world-view, and see where it takes us. To be honest, I’m not exactly sure where this is going to go. But this is happening. Now.
GRANT MORRISON looking suave sporting his badge from Prince Charles.
It isn’t every day that an intergalactic aliens-courting cross-dressing shaman gets a medal or some shit. So, today must be a rare day indeed. Grant Morrison has taken to Twitter to sport the rocking badge he was given by Prince Charles, an achievement that can only serve to prove how awesome the writer happens to be.
WEEKEND OPEN BAR: Close Encounters of the Awesome Kind!
[WEEKEND OPEN BAR: The one-stop ramble-about-anything weekend post at OL. Comment on the topic at hand. Tell us how drunk you are. Describe a comic you bought. This is your chance to bring the party.]
Love `em or fear `em, there’s no denyin’ that extraterrestrials are an absolute fixture of our pop-culture consciousness.
Aliens have been depicted in variety of forms, from the benevolent bestowers of universal knowledge that helped build the pyramids to the nefarious sons-of-bitches that ruined Jeff Goldblum’s Fourth of July. Some spacemen want to go home. Others just want to call their folks. And the worst of `em want to kill Danny Glover.
Coming from outer-space (and thus being the most foreign specimens imaginable), aliens are elicit more fear, joy, and awe than anything on Earth. Who amongst us hasn’t looked to the skies and wondered whether or not we’d be visited by someone – or something – from beyond? You might’ve been inspired or horrified or curious, but I have no doubt that the thought’s crossed your mind.
So, the prompt for our open-bar: Who is your favorite extraterrestrial?
I Don’t Blame Ridley Scott for Prometheus
This isn’t really a Prometheus review. By now you’ve most likely seen the movie, read reviews, or heard about it from your boys. This article is a rant with plenty of spoilers.
Does anyone honestly expect greatness from Sir Ridley Scott anymore? There’s no doubt he’s still a master craftsman who can create some truly stunning visuals. But for a while now he’s been more concerned with those visuals than with minor annoyances like story and characters. That’s why for his prequel to Alien Scott was cool working off of a script originally written by the guy who wrote The Darkest Hour (remember that one?), that was later touched up by Damon Lindelof. We all know Lindelof from Lost, which we still argue about, but that’s only because we still love it so much.
RC’s 12 Simple Rules to Follow for a Successful Interstellar Mission [spoilers for Prometheus]
Before I went to see Prometheus last night, I spent the week watching every space mission movie I owned. So, after a while, I began wondering why these missions are populated with the stupidest people alive, because as soon as these idiots step off their craft, compound, whatever, common sense seems to fuck off to destinations unknown. And after this marathon culminated with Prometheus, I began compiling a list of rules, simple enough for these morons to follow, to ensure a safe mission and hopefully cut down on casualties.
Planning to take a trip to some uncharted planet? Print these out and keep them with you.
Strange Moments in Solid Movies: Boomer the Dog FTW in Independence Day
With an insatiable desire to depict worlds in disarray, Roland Emmerich has spent the better part of three decades pumping out grandiose blockbusters bedecked in social destruction with a flair for the skeptical. That isn’t to say there is a whole lot of method behind the madness; Emmerich’s love for blowing stuff up–be it a sturdy building or established fact–is just too primary, too outrageous. And he’s willing to draw on dicey pasts (The Patriot, Anonymous) and controversial presents (The Day After Tomorrow, 2012) to lay waste to the good earth of cinema, scorching anything that resembles sensible storytelling or true scientific inquiry in his movies’ cataclysmic march to commercial success. And leader of this bombastic parade is Independence Day, Emmerich’s most entertaining film to date.
Aliens Are Inhabiting Christina Aguilera, Axl Rose. It Has Begun.
It has begun. Aliens have begun inhabiting the bodies of celebrities, attempting to infiltrate the media and emit telepathic brainwashing wunder-waves. The only problem? They’ve chosen two washed-up super stars. And their husk-stealing has resulted in some ugly, ugly bloat. I mean, it’s obvious, right?
Hit the jump for proof. But brace yourself.
MASTODON – DEATHBOUND!
The fine folks at Adult Swim have used an unreleased track from Mastodon’s Crack the Skye as the soundtrack for one of the best videos I’ve seen in a long time. You’re guaranteed to love it – unless, of course, you don’t like puppets, gunshots, monsters, UFOs, robots, explosions, or metal.
And if that’s the case, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.
Sammy Hagar Says He Was Abducted By Aliens: Mas Abduction!
Sammy Hagar isn’t just the genius behind Van Hagar and Mas Tequila. No sir. He’s also the man who has been abducted by aliens multiple times, having his ass downloaded or uploaded or…something. He’s not really sure. But it’s led to some rockin’ jams.
