Step Into The Spot Like Woo! What’s up, space-pigs. How are you? What’s populating your world(s)? It’s been a busy, busy week for me. I know, I know, no Monday Morning Commute. Busy Monday. So tired Tuesday that the laptop stayed in the bag when I got home. Wednesday I went to a concert. But I’m here, now! Watch me! Step Into The Spot Like Woo! This here, this right here, this right right here here? Desktop Thursday! The weekly wank-off where I show you my existence laid bare. Be it my virtualscape, my hellscape, my physicalscape. Everything and anything I’ve captured in the past seven days falls here.

I hope, friends. That you will. Step Into The Spot Like Woo! And share, oh please share, your own world(s) in the comments section!

Read the rest of this entry »

Reality is, at best, a tenuous set of consensual hallucinations that we share with one another. Our greasy faces, our fat, gibbering jowls, our swollen, offensive ocular meat-balls all nodding in agreement at the barest, most pathetic concept of reality we hew together as Man. But hey. What the fuck do you want out of me? I can’t do shit about it. #YOLO So I’m going to live my life, dimly aware that my beliefs are conjured by a primitive brain-steak based on embarrassingly limited means of perception, and also play some video games. Love my fellow man. Hold doors, say please and thank you. Read some books. And watch Brock Lesnar give people the F5. ‘Cause really there’s no reason to do otherwise.

This is Monday Morning Commute – the column where we list the various ways we’re staving off staring into the Abyss and realizing how fucking Dumb It All Is. Generally these ways take the form of arts, farts, cheap beers, and ideally – Skittles.

I’ll go first.

Read the rest of this entry »

Truth be told, I have spent more time searching for the header image for this column than I will end up spending writing it. Whatever. The really juicy nougats come from the give and take inside the comments section, right? My part is to serve as but the catalyst for the gals and guys of OL to begin their weekly wanking. I settled on an image by my good friend Brian Galiano. A couple years back, homeboy drummed up countless works (well, you could count them, but I’m lazy) to accompany Rendar’s novella DEFEAT. If you’ve never read the son of a bitch, start here. Anyways, this is Monday Morning Commute. The column where we elaborate on the distractions coating existence just enough on a given week to give us through the malaise.

Read the rest of this entry »