Man. You think Thor was seven-shades of rotting ass douche for not seeing Jane Foster post-Avengers? Fucking Agent Coulson has been running around back from the fucking dead for a serious minute now, and he ain’t contacted his beautiful bitty. But all of that shit is going to change now, according to latest casting news. Steel yourself for a proper slap to the face, Coulson.

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Nary a day ago I was complaining about Patton Oswalt Fatigue. Yes — he can be funny. Yes — he likes the same things I do! Wee! But it feels as though Oswalt’s almost in everyone’s fucking face about his nerd credentials. You don’t need to flaunt that geek  swagger, dude. Just wear your badge and be proud of it. But low and behold, the Good Lord Odin fucking hates me. For he heard my protestations and has responded by ingratiating Oswalt into yet another dork phenomenon that I dig.

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