I need to stop hating on Zack Snyder. For, you know, destroying Pepsibones’ most beloved graphic novel of all time. Why? ‘Cause after seeing the newest trailer for Sucker Punch, something has become apparent. Zack Snyder and I both share the same mindset. Apparently we are both over-sexed permanent thirteen year-olds. We like hot chicks, mechs, karate swords, and slow motion. A lot. The trailer is so fucking base, so retarded, so generic, so fucking amazing. Somehow I can watch it while knowing that it’s mindless, dick-stroking babe objectification and cheeseball pandering, and not just like it. But sweat it. Sweat it with a bulge in my pants that commands thunder and perhaps pity. It is a thunderously small portion of little boy meat.

I want to hang out with Zack Snyder, Rob Liefeld, and Dude Huge at the same time so badly. We’ll all snort viagra and run around an arcade wearing Gears of War armor and pointing and screaming at every set of tits we see. Then Liefeld will try and draw the boobs we see, and they’ll all have broken backs, enormous jugs, and cloven feet. To dream. To dream.

Hit the jump to be fucking x-treme and check out the trailer.

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