Man. They’re really doing it, Nintendo. Aren’t they? I stubbornly want to dismiss every report about their upcoming system, since I just snagged their current one last Christmas. And the company ain’t never given me the Zelda on the system they promised, nor a new 3D Mario. Which chaps my ass! But alas, it appears I’m just going to have to #RockTheSerenityPrayer and accept this.

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I don’t have a 2DS. Or a 3DS. Or truthfully, enough time to add another console and its library to my existence. But shoot if Nintendo ain’t daring me to break common sense with their after their price cutting of the 2DS.

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I want Nintendo to succeed because Nintendo is woven into the very fabric of who I am. Their games sculpted this rotting psycho-carcass that is lodged in my cranium. That said, I have’t bought a Wii U. I even want one, but I haven’t been able to get myself there. Already got too many consoles. Only so many HDMI ports. Spoiled geek problems.

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You have to be a wondrous kind of retard to pull off this stunt. Some dude working at a Chinese factory (apparently) stole a Nintendo 3DS from the production line. Like true wondrous retards are wont to do, he decided to show the world of his egregious theft. There was a video of this by-now-dead-dickhead showing off the wares, but it has been understandably taken down by “user”. Or in other words, before he died, they forced him at blade point to delete it.

Curious as to what it showed? It showed “Super Mario 64 DS being added to the cartridge slot, it seems that the unit is unable to run any retail games, only booting a black screen with the SDK version and memory information (96  steaming hot megabytes of RAM, for those wondering).”

Thrilling!

Want more images of this douche shown off his stolen wares? Hit the jump.

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