Oh man! On the same day that the Halo 3: ODST 250gb bundle was announced, Engadget reports that there’s a Uncharted 2 250gb bundle coming to the PS3. I love the fact that both Sony and Microsoft are taking uppercuts at one another. It’s fun to watch, and it’s creating all sorts of ridiculous bundles and deals. Sure, I bought the 360 and PS3 at launch. So really I don’t have any direct benefit from it. But it’s great to see the two giants fighting over our dollars.

Right now? How can you pass up a PS3 Slim with 250gb of space and Uncharted 2 for the ODST bundle? You’re getting a superior game and a Blu-Ray player. Hot.

Wait, you mean three-thousand music games, four zillion peripherals and a thousand downloads will over-saturate the market? I don’t understand. Guess that’s why I’m not an economist.

Via Destructoid:

NPD Group’s Anita Frazier has cast a grim outlook on the formerly booming music game market, revealing that sales are down 46% from last year.

I just can’t understand how this is happening!

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The newest Final Fantasy XIII clip to leak from god knows where and uploaded by god knows who to the internet shows clips from the newest trailer that was totally secret and not shown to the public. How do I know? Because I find this at Kotaku and they were like “This is exactly like the stuff we saw and you didn’t. Because it was secret. But we saw it anyways. We saw the secret clip. That you didn’t.” Check out the video after the jump.

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Arkham Asylum sells two million copies in two weeks. Good god damn! Pay attention, gaming companies! Usually comic book/movie video games eat raw ass. Tons of it. Gobble them out. And maybe the titles, while craptacular will sell to a few mouth-breathing fans and diehards. But spend some time on a comic book game, and what happens? Shit blows up! Arkham Asylum is one of the highest rated games of the year. It’s selling a million copies a week. And more importantly, Eidos has just established a franchise. Churn out crap, and maybe you’ll trick people into buying a title. But blow their god damn heads off, and you’ve gotten repeat customers.

Seriously, anything that follows this game up will be automatically bought by many, including me, because it’s the sequel to Arkham Asylum.

It’s simple, you can churn out slop and hope some tardholes pick it up. Or you can be the rare company that doesn’t rush out a comic book or video game movie, and reap the rewards.

If you know me, you know that I buy all multi-platform games for my 360. Why? Because I’m a douchebag, duh! Just kidding about the d-bag part. But seriously, why? Because they’re better. Apparently European Microsoft Czar Chris Lewis agrees with me! Go figure!

Via Destructoid:

We have a great journey through to Christmas,” boasts Lewis. “There are key titles that are exclusives but also great cross-platform titles that will just work better on Xbox Live. And in terms of content and networking, we have more content partnerships for Xbox Live.

Countless friends of mine want to punch me in the face. Listen, I’ll break it down for you. And here’s a caveat and please don’t disregard this: I’m buying Final Fantasy XIII on the PS3, and should policy and quality shift, I will flow with it. I’m not a blind fanboy. Click the jump for my reasonings.

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Left 4 Dead was dope as hell. Valve announced they were going to release a sequel. L4D fans rejoiced, right? Well, most of us. But then there’s always the dillholes of the gaming community. They grumbled that it was being shoved out, blah blah blah, too quickly, blah blah, I am angry nerd gamer, play with semen crust on my fingers. They even wrote a manifesto. They’re turds.

Valve, who sweats awesomeness flew two of these absolute vaginal discharges out to play the game. Yes, Valve paid for two haters to come check out L4D2, and show them how fucking insipid they are. And are you surprised to learn that these two angry nerds and their manifesto (LOL) quickly gave way to the truth? Even they now realize L4D2 is going to be super-ballin’-time:

Via Destructoid:

“Things seemed balanced and ‘tight’ and did not feel like a rushed job. While we were visiting their offices we personally witnessed what can only be called a small army of artists, coders, mappers hard at work, which explains the rapid transformations in artwork that we’ve all seen,” grovel the turncoat boycotters, known by the impressive handles of Walking_Target and Agent of Chaos.

“What we can say with confidence is that the quality of gameplay in Left 4 Dead 2 is not in question; and it will only get better.”

Most nerds are just neglected buttheads who have so much time on their hands they’ll write manifestos and boycott games out of misplaced angst. That, or write a blog. Or both. They love hating because they hate not being loved. Or something.

If I knew that hating crap would let me play and experience it early, I’d hate a lot more. For the record, POWERS THAT BE WINK WINK, this is a list of things I hate and need to be persuaded about:

Mass Effect 2, Final Fantasy XIII, Bayonetta, Uncharted 2, Avatar, Star Wars Episode XII, the last season of LOST, American currency, and time travel. So please change my mind about these awful, awful things.

It’s already been announced that Ninja Gaiden 2 Sigma is going to feature boobs you can shake with your Sixaxis controller. In the following clip, NG2’s producer Yosuke Hayashi teaches nerds in a Spain just how to handle those breasts. I wish someone had taught me how to handle boobs when I was a fat little kid. The first time I saw a pair of bare breasts I freaked out and launched at them like I was Bilbo in Rivendell from Fellowship. ROARRRR and then I just drooled on them a lot. Check out the video after the jump.

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When the Earth was created, there was the PS3. Now there’s the Ps3 Slim. Soon, it looks like there’s going to be the 250gb Ps3 Slim. And even after that, apparently there’s going to be another god damn version of a Ps3 with 3D hardware integrated into it. Strap on your googles, assholes, and get ready to shake your Sony Wiimoteshock at fluttering butterflies or some shit:

Via Kotaku:

According to a Sony rep speaking with Cnet, “over the following two or three years” Sony will begin installing hardware inside the PS3 that will enable the console to display games in 3D.

Fuckkkkkkk. God dammit Sony, come on. I bought your piece of crap PS3 back in 2006 when there were no titles for it, because I’m a hardcore asshole. I just needed it. You prey on people like me. But god dammit, don’t make me buy another console. If your lame-assed 3D plans only become some sort of auxiliary option, that’s fine, whatever. Be a fruit cake. But if I can’t play God of War and Clank 3 because I don’t have the appropriate version of PS3 I’m going to lose my god damn mind.

3D gaming? Fucking come on. This isn’t Universal Studios. I’m a crotchety old man, I cry foul. All the causal d-bags who have propelled a glorified peripheral (the Wii) to insane installed bases will probably straight up ejaculate at the prospect.

To you, I say, catch PAX-Nerd-Flu.

I like Halo. You may not like Halo. But I think any decent human being with a penchant for nerdery can agree the commercial below is amazing. It’s painful to watch, because it makes what I find to be a laughable universe into something utterly gorgeous. Watch this trailer, see District 9, and contemplate how awesome a Peter Jackson-produced Halo movie could have actually been. Check it out after the jump.

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Simply put, Michael Jackson refuses to die. Here he is, sneaking into Final Fantasy XIII. What’s that you said, that’s not MJ? Well, okay. According the the “truth”,

Via Kotaku:

It’s already been confirmed that Sazh was a father – details were scant, however. Here is a first look at his son, who is named “Dodge” and also has an afro.

Sorry guys, can’t trick me. This is Michael Jackson if I’ve ever seen him. Looking all human again. Michael Jackson is like Jean Grey or some shit, reviving from the ashes. Actually, he probably just equipped a Final Attack+Phoenix materia before he passed. Welcome back, little man!