Monday Morning Commute: Goodbye and Goodnight to 2020!
Jesus fucking Christ, we made it to the end of this year. Congratulations if you’re reading this. The thresher may have ripped and torn at your nipples. Grinded and pulverized your soul. But you fucking made it, my dude! There’s a goddamn victory in that, even if your psyche is in tatters. May the next year give way to actual social events (albeit still mutated, sure), and a warm balm that may not heal the scar tissue, but soothe the soul.
We made it! Oh fucking thank the disaffected Eldritch Ones, we made it. So let’s celebrate that shit with one last Monday Morning Commute in this accursed year, no?
Tell me, what are you up to this holiday week! Are you cracking open a new video game? A new IPA? A new batch of wet wipes and grinding out one last batch of proto-children? Let’s celebrate the arts & farts one last time together, then help launch the engine that’ll shoot this year into the fucking sun.
No Comments
KFC has made their own gaming console that also warms chicken. Hail the slop culture!
I’m late getting to this piece of slop culture, but hey it’s a fucking holiday. Despite my tardiness, this shit is goddamn remarkable. KFC is dropping a monstrosity that’s part-chicken warmer, part-gaming console. Hail! The slop culture!
‘Cobra Kai’ Season 3 dropping one week early. The dojo opens January 1st, 2021!
Man, I fucking called this shit on stream last night! Netflix has moved up the date of Cobra Kai Season 3 to January 1st! A good goddamn way to kick off 2021, if you ask my ass.
Long Weekend Open Bar: Merry Christmas, Ya Filthy Animals
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
To each and every one of you motherfuckers. Man, what a fucking year it’s been. I mean, unconventional to say the least. No? Unconventional! To say the fucking least. In a year of unconventional existence, why would the holidays be any different? They wouldn’t! Which is why this Christmas Eve has been a quiet, muted affair for me. Christmas will follow too in a similar manner, obviously.
‘Coming 2 America’ Teaser Trailer: Eddie Murphy and the Rest of the Gang is Back (in America)!
Here’s the teaser trailer for Coming 2 America, baby! Which fucking reminds me, I really need to watch the original flick again. Especially, you know, to prepare for the sequel!
Mountain Dew has released a cookbook to celebrate its 80th anniversary. Every day we stray further from God.
Mountain Dew has its own cookbook, folks. Many, many people have told me this, knowing my love for Diet Dew. That said, its existence does feel as though its an affront to God and man alike. But I ain’t turning down some Mountain Dew pancakes if you make ’em for me. Just saying. Let’s revel in sin and gluttony together, while the Lord plans his next flood.
‘The Book of Boba Fett’ is dropping December 2021 with ‘The Mandalorian’ Season 3 to follow. This is the way, blah fucking blah
One of the common logistical questions coming of The Mandalorian‘s second season finale was an understandable asking of when its third season would arrive. You know, given that The Book of Boba Fett was announced for December 2021. And furthermore, was The Book of Boba Fett a stand-in for Mando’s third adventure? Well friends, we got our goddamn answer. The Book of Boba is dropping next December, and a third season of The Mandolorian will follow. Uh, sometime.
‘A.P. Bio’ has been renewed for Season 4! Everyone shut up, shut up, and celebrate!
A.P. Bio is a fucking hidden gem, man. Not only that, but it only got fucking odder and funnier once it moved to Peacock. That said, I sort of assumed it’d drop Season 3 there, and then disappear. Not so! Not fucking so. It’s been renewed for Season 4.
Scientists detect strange-ass radio signal coming from closest star, Proxima Centauri! I want to fucking believe.
Listen, well know this radio signal coming from our closest star Proxima Centauri ain’t an alien signal. I mean…right? But, like, what if? Either way, this is a sweet fucking development.
NASA says a supermassive black hole is missing! No cause for concern, folks!
Hey, no big whup! Don’t panic! Don’t tug at your pubes in existential worry and sublimity. We just got a case of a supermassive black hole missing, according to NASA.
