Nanotech scientists have engineered spinach that can send emails. And detect explosives. Seriously.
What the fuck are MIT engineers up to, dudes? I mean, when they’re not engineering spinach to send emails and detect explosives. Fucking wild, man. The future. Fucking wild.
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Viggo Mortensen teases new “disturbing” horror movie with David Cronenberg. Gimme that fucking body horror!
Viggo! Oh, Viggo! Don’t tease a new horror movie with Cronenberg unless it’s really happening! Fuck! As well, describing it as harkening back to Cronenberg’s origins? Goodness, gracious, I got a body horror in my pants.
Monday Morning Commute: my skeleton is my oldest house
It’s true! My skeleton is my oldest house. Within its walls, do I ever haunt. The burbling, bubbling of a mad brain. The frenzied, arrhythmic horrors of an over-caffeinated heart. The creaky, laborious groans of a skeleton subjected to gravity, entropy, and exertion. Oh, does my soul walk these halls. Oh, do I ever haunt. This house, the oldest house, it treats me well.
The oldest house keeps my meat-processor protected from the elements, until it doesn’t.
The oldest house keeps my circuitry protected from the elements, until it doesn’t.
I don’t fault the oldest house for its failing, for when it fails to protect me. Or, when the piping gets clogged. Or, when the meat-processor over-heats, or short-circuits. After all, what house is infallible? Show me the lark selling that shanty, and I’ll show you a liar.
My house, the oldest house, isn’t perfect.
But it’s the house I’ve got, and it’s the house I’ll have, until I have no house no more.
I take reasonable care of it, and it takes reasonable care of me.
On certain days, we’d probably ask more out of one another, but for the most part we’re pretty happy. Which is good.
‘Cause it’s the house I’ve got, and it’s the house I’ll have, until I have no house no more.
This is Monday Morning Commute.
‘Wakanda’ TV series is coming from ‘Black Panther’ director Ryan Coogler as dude inks 5-Year exclusive TV deal with Disney
After signing a 5-year exclusive deal with Disney, Ryan Coogler is developing a Wakanda TV series for Disney. Fuck yeah! I’m glad, man. Glad that no one is going to be handling the world of Black Panther other than Coogler for a while. A damn while!
‘The Sandman’ Netflix series has announced its whole cast and I wish I could care more!
Netflix has announced the main cast of The Sandman. Wee? I guess? Listen, nothing against The Sandman, friends. As well, nothing against Neil Gaiman. But I just can’t find the juice to care about this news! However, maybe you can give me the juice! If you’re excited, you know. Squeeze me. Milk me. Make me…care.
John Carpenter said he might return to directing. Bro, don’t tease us.
John Carpenter said he ain’t completely done with directing, provided this fucking pandemic ever ends. Which is fucking fantastic news to me, dudes. Like. Even bad John Carpenter in the world is better than no John Carpenter, right?
Weekend Open Bar: The Horrors of Childhood are Adulthood’s Sweet Nostalgia
Guilty of nostalgia, motherfuckers! Of the honeying of childhood, the discarding of its various horrors, and the embracing of its warm glow. Listen, if you watch the stream you know that my childhood was wonderfully replete with woes. At the same time, it was also a time of magic. Nothing quite rocks one’s ass like a childhood discovery. Be it a horror film that sculpted your brain, a video game that changed your life, or a metal album that had you throwing up the metal horns. Fucking A, bro! Sure, you grow, and continue to find things you love. Hopefully! Hopefully.
I suppose I should acknowledge that many people find themselves despondent in their aging corpus, and retreat into the bosom of nostalgia. They suckle upon the curdling milk of Mother Wayback’s teats. That ain’t healthy, and I do pride myself on continuing to find joy and wonder in new experiences, even as I approach Middle Age. That said, there’s a joy to rekindling old memories with friends, such as you fucks, here at the Weekend Open Bar and on the streams.
Space Swoon: Deep space view shows Earth, Venus, and Mars in a single frame. Perspective++
Ya’ll want a glorious look? Check out this view from deep space, which captures Earth, Venus, and Mars in one frame. Hell fucking yeah!
Astronomers have discovered solar system with six stars. Yo, that’s just excessive.
Man, one solar system is fucking acting out. The motherfucker in question, who goes by the name of TIC 168789840, has got six goddamn stars! Six. My word, dude. Calm down, stop flexing. Et cetera, et cetera.
Watch: ‘Cyberpunk 2077’ trailer remade using ‘Super Mario’ movie footage. As terrifying as the game’s launch!
Listen, whether or not we want to admit it, the Super Mario movie is cyberpunk as fuck. So, it makes horrifying sense to use its footage to remake a Cyberpunk 2077 trailer.
Check it out after the jump, because, you know, Twitter embed.
