What the fuck is up, members of the Space-Ship Omega? How are you doing? I’m currently typing this bitch while actual rays of sun blast through my window. And while they aren’t supercharging my glands, my glutes, and my muscles ala Superman, these rays do feel good. So I’m hitting this son of a bitch with a bit more ebullience than I would have, had I actually written this yesterday.

Which I intended to, honest! But then the day got in the way, and blah, blah. None the less, let’s embrace the Here and the Now together.

What are you radical fucking pseudo-primates up to this week? What are you enjoying? Sweating the next WandaVision? Gleefully watching the snow melt? I don’t know, enjoying baseball’s Spring Training or some other odd shit?

I want to know! I want to show! I’ll go! First!

This is Monday Morning Commute.

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Guess what, motherfuckers! Aladdin star Mena Massoud is joining the Star Wars live-action universe. I don’t know dude. At all! But, like. I’m onboard for any casting Disney does for its Star Wars shows right now. ‘Cause mamma mia, they’re fucking crushing it. As well, I’m pretty stoked about them bringing Ezra Bridger into the live-action world.

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Dude, just this headline makes my nose bleed. Like, in a good way. But still. A remastered Nyan Cat gif has been sold. At a crypto art auction. For $587,000. What the fuck.

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Mythic Quest is fucking incredible, my dudes. And now it’s got a Season 2 teaser! As well, it’s only getting better. Throughout the entire first season, you can feel the throbbing synergy develop between the Always Sunny and Community talent behind it. Which means? I’m fucking beyond stoked for more of the show. Beyond! Stoked! The purple loot is in my pants, growing! Epic! Something!

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Diablo 2 Resurrected is dropping this year, and I’m fucking stoked. The original Diablo 2 is one of my favorite games of all time, and meant so much to me that it made my senior yearbook. Yeah, I’m also that fucking old. And that fucking lame. None the less, let’s do this baby!

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Oh lord, friends! It is the mother-fuck-ing weekend, and not a moment too soon! A stressful week has given way to a temporary haven. Some 48-hours or so where I can shut down my brain, open up my gullet, and eat junk food and watch slop. How the hell are you folks doing? It’s a goddamn mess across the map, with most of the Empire getting ass-blasted by cold weather and snow.

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Holy fuck, dudes. Scientists have communicated in real-time with lucid dreamers. Let that statement rattle around your brain. Then, wrap said brain in tinfoil while you sleep. ‘Cause them fuckers are coming for your dreams.

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Holy shit, Edgar Wright is directing a new adaptation of The Running Man. Man, ain’t this good news for my ass. Given my love for Stephen King lately, and my adoration for Edgar Wright! Oh hell yes.

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Fucking hell yeah, fellas! NASA has safely landed the Perseverance Rover on Mars! Now the fucking fun shit starts! Hit the jump for the details and first images!

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The trailer for the new Mortal Kombat has dropped, and I have no idea if I fucking hate it or not. Undoubtedly, it’s got some of the classic iconography that makes my dick stiffer than one of Sub-Zero’s victims. (That’s an awful pop culture reference, and if you enjoyed it, woof.) At the same time, isn’t this franchise supposed to be fun? It’s a patently idiotic franchise, and that’s what makes the games (and the original movie) so dope. The whole grim dark posturing going on this trailer is pretty ass, and antithetical to the heart of the franchise.

But, you know how it goes. It’s got classic characters doing their classic shit, and people are marks for that sort of pablum.

Where do I fall? Again, I really don’t know. Genuinely.

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