Weekend Open Bar: Cynthia Rothrock and Roll
Motherfuckers it’s the weekend, and that can only mean one thing. Fucking time to pop off our pants, turn off our motherfucking Ring Lights (if you’re a remote teacher like me), and get high as hell! You know, relax! Put on a good horror flick, stretch your gullet beyond reasonable measurement, and fucking gorge!
Pizza! Martial arts flicks! Dead Cells! Diarrhea!
Seriously though, you sublime bitches. Let’s gather! It’s time, my fellow Degenerates of the Round Table! The Bar is Open, my mood is good thanks to sunshine and a 48-siesta, and my heart throbs for you! Yes, for you!
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‘Dragon Age 4’ going to be single-player only following ‘Anthem’ failure. Fucking yes, my dudes!
Hey! EA has pulled one of their myriad heads out of their myriad asses! After Anthem‘s fucking failure, the company is letting BioWare go single-player only. This shit will begin with Dragon Age 4, which I am now sweating harder. Death to live services, bitches!
‘Mission: Impossible 7’ and ‘A Quiet Place 2’ will be streaming only 45 days after release on Paramount Plus. Everybody got their pandemic streaming swagger!
Paramount ain’t exactly going full Warner Brothers, but they are acknowledging the current pandemic-based reality. The company announced that Mission: Impossible 7, A Quiet Place 2, and other movies will be streaming on Paramount+ a mere 45 days after release. Such a development pretty much sums up the current landscape, everyone has a fucking streaming service, and everyone is weary of the current box office.
‘Spider-Man 3’ is officially titled ‘Spider-Man: No Way Home’ and it’s dropping this Christmas. Webtacular or some shit!
I’m fucking stoked for Spider-Man 3, and now it’s finally got an official fucking title. After countless feints, we now know it’s called Spider-Man: No Way Home. As well, the motherfucker is dropping this Christmas. Which comes as a surprise to me, but maybe I’m clueless. None the less, stoked!
Check the teaser after the jump!
Spike Lee is producing Lovecraftian movie ‘Gordon Hemingway & The Realm of Cthulhu’ for Netflix. Sign me the fuck up!
Wait, what the fuck? Spike Lee is producing a Lovecraftian horror movie? Indeed, and its titled Gordon Hemingway & The Realm of Cthulhu. You know, I never thought I’d see a world where Spike Lee was producing a Cthulhu flick. Given, you know. He’s Spike Lee. Not to mention Lovecraft’s racist as fuck history. But, I think it’s an interesting angle, directors of color putting their own spin and interpretation on the mythos. Perhaps to admire its wonders while interrogating its myriad faults. With all that in mind, I’m really, really excited for this project.
Space Swoon: Mars’ Jezero Crater is a potential site for the Rover to investigate!
Hey, yo! Check out the fucking Jezero Crater, a potential site of investigation for the Mars Rover. You go, little bro. Investigate. Detect. You know, find signs of ancient life.
Ron Moore still wants to make a ‘Star Wars’ TV series. Frak yes, let’s get this done!
Nearly a decade ago, Battlestar show runner Ronald D. Moore was supposed to help develop a Star Wars TV show. Well, that son of a bitch god killed. But it hasn’t dissuaded the dude. Moore has revealed he would still love to do a show set in the universe, and I say let’s make it fucking happen.
Scientists have repaired injured spinal cord using patient’s own stem cells. Holy fucking future, friends!
How is this for a welcome blast in the ass from the Future? Scientists have repaired a patient’s spinal cord, using their own stem cells. The patients reported substantial improvements to key functions, just weeks after the cells were injected. Mamma mia, the fucking implications!
NASA has shared video of Mars Perseverance rover landing. Also, first audio from Mars. From. Mars. Mars!!!
Jesus Christ, the future is feeling real today. NASA has shared video of the Mars rover landing. But that ain’t the only shit, my fellow space-freaks. They’ve also shared audio from Mars. Fucking incredible.
‘Twisted Metal’ TV series coming from the ‘Deadpool’ writers. Man, I’m intrigued as fuck!
Hold the fuck on, Monday! There’s a Twisted Metal TV series coming from the Deadpool writers? I certain as shit didn’t see this coming, but I’m down like a clown for it. Get it? A clown? Fuck you! Seriously though, the writers of the Merc With A Mouth flick are perfect for this shit. The idea of this series becoming a show is self-evidently preposterous, some two writers who won’t take it too seriously are fantastic.
