Weekend Open Bar: The Pants-Off Dance Off
Man, I can absolutely relate to Murray from The Goldbergs. Motherfucking Spring Break is here, which means it’s time to pop off them jeans! Slip into something more comfortable, and fucking flat-out vibe. It’s goddamn glorious out today on the Eastern seaboard of the Empire. I got myself a warm-ass breeze wafting into my study, I got a warm-ass can of Diet Dew flying down my gullet, and I got a warm-ass glow in my heart.
Between the weather, the longer days, and the imminent approach of our vaccinations, I’m feeling hope. Really, I’m feeling hopeful for the first time since maybe the Fall. The Winter cracked open my psyche and blasted my mind-ass. Somehow while missing my prostate, because let’s be honest: an ass-blasting focusing on the prostate is a glorious, near-heavenly experience.
No Comments
Michael B. Jordan officially directing ‘Creed 3’ and it’s dropping Thanksgiving, 2022!
Michael B. Jordan is officially directing Creed 3, and the fucker is dropping next Thanksgiving. I fucking loved Creed. Could have given or taken Creed 2. So, what’s to get me stoked about a third flick? Michael B. Jordan directing! Like, is he good? I don’t know! Is he bad? I don’t know! But am I eager to find out the answer? Oh fuck yeah.
The Inventor of the Cassette Tape has died. RIP to an absolute legend!
The dude behind cassette tapes, and by proxy an insane amount of good memories for people my age, has died. Dude’s name was Lou Ottens, and he passed away at the age of 94. What an absolutely glorious run, my dude. If I still had my copy of Metallica’s “Black Album” on tape, and fuck I wish I did, I’d crank it in your honor.
Xbox Chief says Bethesda deal is going to deliver “great exclusive games” and maybe my Xbox Series X will get turned on!
As a gaming glutton, I received the Xbox Series X for Christmas. You know, after already owning a PlayStation 5. However, the motherfucker has sort of just sat there, awaiting exclusive games worth playing. I had a hunch they’d arrive eventually, given the impending Bethesda deal. Now? Now I officially know. Today, the motherfucking Microsoft Czar Phil Spencer confirmed the Bethesda deal is going to deliver “great exclusive games” which is equal parts not surprising and awesome news. For me.
Disney Plus has surpassed 100 Million subscribers. The House of Mouse is laying waste!
Well, now I know how Disney is able to afford the fucking budget for their Star Wars and Marvel shows. The House of Mouse has announced that Disney+ has officially passed the 100 million subscribers mark. Like, holy fuck.
‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ are getting a new retro beat-’em-up and I’m fucking stoked!
Holy shit, friends. We are getting a spiritual successor to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time. The motherfucker is called Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge, and it’s got the right retro look and feel to get me throbbing.
Scientists believe they have found chunk of ancient protoplanet in Africa. Man, space rules!
How’s this for a fucking Tuesday headline? To beat back the doldrums? Scientists believe they have found a chunk of an ancient protoplanet in Africa! In fact, the meteorite found last year is older than Earth itself. Like, let that swim around your brain-pieces. Ancient protoplanet. Older than Earth itself.
‘GLOW’ creators bringing new anthology series to Apple TV+ starring Alison Brie, Cynthia Erivo, and Nicole Kidman!
Them GLOW creators aren’t staying on the mat (heh) for too long! No, indeed they’re not! They’ve got a new series in the works at Apple TV+, and the former show’s star Alison Brie will be joining them.
Microsoft confirms some future Bethesda games will be Xbox and PC exclusive. Fucking obviously.
Microsoft has confirmed what should have been fucking obvious. Namely, some future Bethesda games will be exclusive to XBOX and PC. You don’t spend fucking $7.5 billion to give PlayStation all your dope games.
Microsoft’s $7.5 billion purchase of Bethesda parent company ZeniMax approved by US and EU regulators. Actually interesting exclusives incoming?
Microsoft’s gotten the green light to buy the fuck out of Bethesda’s parent company, ZeniMax. I think we all sort of thought it was a fait accompli, but now that shit is really happening. And with it? My god! Could, could Microsoft actually have some interesting exclusives? Finally?
