‘Army of the Day’ Trailer: A Zombie Heist Movie? Sign Me Up.
In this post-pandemic world, this new world, there’s a new me. And this new me? Apparently he fucks with Zack Snyder. ‘Cause this trailer for Army of the Dead looks so fucking good-and-stupid and I’m completely in. Give me Bautista and Friends absolutely annihilating zombies in that glorious, overwrought, absurdly slick Snyder style.
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Rumors suggest ‘Resident Evil: Village’ has an Unlockable Roguelike mode! Throwback to Mercenaries, baby?!
Well, this is sort of dope! According to motherfucking rumors, Resident Evil: Village has an unlockable roguelike mode! While so many games tack on battle royales, it’s sort of neat to see this shit going roguelike. Roguelike, you say?! What?! Listen, this definitely sounds like a great throwback to the Mercenaries mode from Resident Evil 4. Which was an all-time fave minigame of mine.
‘American Gladiators’ is getting a ’30 for 30′ Documentary and this is so fucking outrageous I’m in
American Gladiators is getting itself a fucking 30 for 30 documentary, and I’m absolutely here for it. Like many young bucks with developing brains in the 1980s, this show sculpted my ideas surrounding being a bad ass, and absolutely dominating with a tennis ball Gatling gun. There was a tennis ball Gatling gun, right?
‘Gundam’ live-action movie coming from ‘Kong: Skull Island’ director Jordan Vogt-Roberts and Netflix
Hey! The dude behind Kong: Skull Island is directing a live-action Gundam movie for Netflix! My take? Hey, sure! Why the fuck not, right?
Space Swoon: Mars got itself some glorious, beautiful blue dunes
Ya’ll want Dune? Gonna have to wait. Ya’ll want a picture of Mars’ bright blue sand dunes courtesy of NASA? You’re in the right place.
Next ‘Star Trek’ movie is dropping in 2023. Actors? Director? Timeline? They don’t fucking know!
Respect to Paramount for announcing a new Star Trek movie for 2033 without knowing anything. Like, fucking anything at all. No director attached, no timeline identified, no actors involved! A straight-up commitment to a release date, and absolutely nothing else.
Weekend Open Bar: The Super Covid Serum!
It’s official, comrades. Members of the Space-Ship Omega. The COVID-19 vaccine is currently coursing through my veins. Building antibodies. Shuffling me towards a day when I may return to the movies, watch sports with friends, and attend concerts. Build, antibodies! Build! Swell up, teach my body how to karate-chop this fucking virus. Missile dropkick the son of a bitch! Get big, get strong, get ready for me. ‘Cause Imma put your serum-ass to the test in three weeks or so.
‘Indiana Jones 5’ adds Phoebe Waller-Bridge as its female lead, John Williams doing score. This is happening, huh?
Well, it appears that Phoebe Waller-Bridge has joined the cast of Indiana Jones 5 and John Williams will be doing its score. I gotta confess, I forgot this shit is happening, and I sort of really wish it wasn’t. No Spielberg. Old-as-fuck Ford. Just, I don’t know. Let glorious, sleeping dogs lie.
Report: Naughty Dog working on ‘Last of Us’ Remake while Sony’s fixation on blockbuster titles has some employees unhappy
Sony’s got a remake of The Last of Us in the works. Which is unnecessary, but whatever. However, more concerning is what this symbolizes. Specifically, the company is focusing on blockbusters over everything else, and it’s leading to turmoil and turnover. What the fuck, Sony. Get your heads out of your asses. This shit is right on cue, though. Company fucks up every other generation. As a Sony fanboy, this shit kills me to admit.
‘Ancient Aliens’ movie coming from ‘Cobra Kai’ showrunner and somehow I give a shit?
Listen. If it weren’t the Cobra Kai showrunner bringing the world an Ancient Aliens movie, I wouldn’t give a fuck. However, that dude has clearly proven he can take an unlikely commodity and make it entertaining-as-fuck. So, sure! I’ll be excited about this.
