‘Celeste’ Developer Teases Next Game ‘Earthblade’ With A “Vibe Reveal” and What The Fuck Are We Saying?
What the fuck is a vibe reveal? I only ask because apparently that’s what the developer of Celeste has done for their next game, Earthblade. I’m getting fucking old, nothing makes sense. My balls hang lower, and the young ones’ slang evades me. I don’t know! I don’t know about my place in this Universe. However, I do know that I’m fucking stoked for Earthblade, given that Celeste fucking owns. Even if a vibe reveal has me feeling ancient.
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Officially Official: Michael Keaton is Playing Batman in ‘The Flash’ movie. Fucking A, glad they locked it in!
First some time, we all thought Michael Keaton was going to be returning as Batman in The Flash. But then murmurings of scheduling conflicts killing the prospect emerged. However, it seems we all collectively shit our pants for no reason. The dude himself will be officially donning the mantle once again.
PlayStation Store for PS3 and PS Vita No Longer Shutting Down. Bullying Corporations Works!
Sony has reversed course and announced they ain’t closing the PlayStation Store for the PS3 and the PS Vita. This shit comes after a rather impressive firestorm surrounding the news, especially from pissed off retro PlayStation gamers. Me? I feel like I should care more about this, since the development underscores the fact that all of our modern consoles are ticking time bombs. Existing only as long as they can access the internet and shit. But I only got so much fucking emotional bandwidth, so I’ll just punt this down the line for awhile. That said, I’m stoked for all the gamers who were going to be significant bummed by the initial decision. Well done, Masters of the Caterwauls!
‘Furiousa’ Begins Filming in 2022 and the ‘Mad Max’ Prequel Will Take Place Across Many Years. Gimme, George! Gimme!
Fucking A, dudes! The Furiosa movie is really fucking happening, and it’s set to begin filming in 2022! Not only will the film be the biggest film ever made in Australia, but it’s going to take place over many years. While the idea that any fucking flick could match Fury Road does seem impossible, like. Two things. First, who fucking cares? Second, who thought Fury Road would be as good as it was? Not only will the film be the biggest film ever made in Australia, but it’s going to take place over many years. While the idea that any fucking flick could match Fury Road does seem impossible, like. Two things. First, who fucking cares? Second, who thought Fury Road would be as good as it was?
NASA’s Ingenuity Helicopter Has Flown On Mars. Fucking Flown On Mars!
Good goddamn, motherfuckers! We have flown on Mars! Flown on Mars! NASA’s Ingenuity helicopter flew today, and I’ll be stoked because of it for the rest of the day.
‘Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings’ Trailer: Bad Ass Through and Through!
I’m absolutely fucking ready for Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, man. I was stoked before the trailer, and now I’m doubly stoked. Straight-up fucking martial arts bad ass action.
Alfred Molina Confirms He’s Playing Doc Ock in ‘Spider-Man: No Way Home’ and the Marvel Ninjas Must Be After the Dude Now!
It’s been a sort of open secret that Spider-Man: No Way Home is going to feature the Multiverse. Despite that shit, though, no one has confirmed it officially. Until now. Alfred Molina has admitted he’s playing Doc Ock in the movie, and it ain’t a confirmation of the Multiverse but it’s pretty close. As well, you have to imagine Marvel ain’t happy with this shit. They’ve been playing this movie so close to the chest, and here bro just fucking casually drops the reveal.
Monday Morning Commute: Finish Him! (Quarantine)
What a fucking year it’s been, friends. And I know for many, it sure as shit ain’t over yet. But this week marks two weeks since I’ve received my J&J vaccine. Or in other words, this dude is ready to tentatively, and carefully begin to renter society. I mean, to the extent that I ever existed in it, you know? As a hermit and all. How am I celebrating this emergence? Why, I’m celebrating by partaking in two of my favorite things in the world. Hitting the movies on Friday evening and going out to dinner on Saturday afternoon.
What a fucking year it’s been, friends. Yet we’re slowly emerging from the morass, and with it brings a surreal feeling. However, I must underscore how fucking instrumental my digital kinship with ya’ll has been in sustaining some sort of sanity for the past thirteen months. Without these weekly columns, twice-weekly Twitch streams, and now Discord, I would have broken long ago.
If I kick the bucket anytime soon, I’ll lay content in knowing I helped facilitate the creation of some sort of small but meaningful refuge for a few people during this darkest of years. That said, it wouldn’t have been shit without the participation of all of you. So thank you so much for helping a brother out, and if I made you laugh a couple times talking about sniffing panties, boobs, or swearing at Dead Cells, I’m glad.
Anyways, this is Monday Morning Commute! I’ll share my own hopes, dreams, hypes, and vices for the week! Then you’ll hit the comments section and tag-in, it’s your goddamn imperative.
PlayStation 5 Is Fastest-Selling Console in U.S. History. Pretty Impressive, Considering They’re Fucking Unicorns!
Suppose there’s two ways to look at the PlayStation 5 being the fastest-selling console in U.S. history. In one way, I’m impressed, because supply has been so limited. In a second way, perhaps they feel so rare due to this limited supply because of how fast they’re selling. Right?
NASA Has Chosen SpaceX To Build Their Moon Lander. Here’s Hoping It Stops Exploding!
Hey man! NASA has chosen SpaceX to build their Moon lander, and why the fuck not? I’m sort of bummed everything is privatized these days, but that’s just the way it goes. At least we’re going to the Moon, baby! Hopefully in a non-exploding rocket or some shit.
