‘The Eternals’ Teaser Trailer: Hey Look We’re Artsy Fartsy
Marvel’s dropped a teaser trailer for The Eternals and it’s got a resounding shrug from me. Like, okay, cool. This is very pensive and serious, or something. I don’t fucking know. We’re a step away from the Man of Steel trailer which had Clark running his hands through wheat and shit. That said, of course I’ll see it. I’m Marvel Fanboy Scum.
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Monday Morning Commute: Alive After Death
If John Carpenter ain’t the coolest motherfucker alive, I don’t know who happens to be. Look at that Force of Nature, absolutely cutting a fucking rug. Absolute stable of insane movies directed? Yup. Absolute stable of insane soundtracks and albums recorded? Yup! Dude’s just dominating on all fronts, and all he seems to have to do in his old age is play music with his family and rock video games.
Been listening to his latest album lately, and today’s column title is a reference to its titular track: Alive After Death. Shit dudes, it’s even got a fucking rad music video.
Anyways, the phrase “Alive After Death” resonates with my ass lately. Maybe it resonates as a reference to emerging from a post-pandemic world. Maybe it resonates with my idea that the ideal life is a recursive one, where if we aren’t continuously dying and emerging changed after learning from our mistakes, we’re doing it wrong. Maybe it resonates with the feeling that comes at the end of every semester, born anew after the cataclysm of another school year in the books.
Whatever the case, the phrase is snared in my synapses, and I figured I’d share it with you. Not just the song, but the thoughts behind its resonance, and a little bit of the ole opening up of the soul.
This is Monday Morning Commute. You already know the fucking drill.
Henry Cavill in talks to join ‘Highlander’ Reboot from ‘John Wick’ director. This could absolutely fucking rule.
I’ve been onboard with the Highlander reboot since John Wick director was attached to it. But now you toss in Henry Cavill? Mamma mia, sign me the fuck up! Give me this big ole hunk of gorgeous beef swinging a sword around in a Chad Stahelski action sequence.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Spy Series Ordered By Netflix. Dude Really Hasn’t Had a TV Series?
Motherfuckers, Arnold Schwarzenegger is coming to TV! Or rather, coming to that weird ephemeral concept that we still call TV. Dude has had a spy adventure series ordered by Netflix. Is it going to be good? Who fucking knows! I sure hope it is!
‘No Sudden Move’ Teaser Trailer: Soderbergh’s New Heist Flick is Absolutely Fucking Stacked
I’m down for any Steven Soderbergh, but I’m especially down for his heist shit. Absolutely fucking down! Which means I’m completely engorged by this teaser for his new movie, No Sudden Move. The cast is absolutely fucking stacked, and most importantly features a serious crush in the form of Julia Fox.
China’s Rover has sent back its first images of Mars. It’s a fucking party there now!
China’s got its own Rover on Mars and it’s sending back its own goddamn images of the planet. Between this and the obvious existence of UFOS it’s a fucking intergalactic party these days.
Hit the jump to check them out.
Monday Morning Commute: the glory of chasing the neon dusk
As the season turns to Summer, the dusks get more and more glorious. Certainly, they’ll never achieve the neon-glow of a synthwave stroll down a tranquil highway. But we take what we can get in life, and the dusks we are afforded are pretty damn swell. These glorious late Spring dusks are just one of the things I’m enjoying right now, as I begin to kick off a short vacation this Thursday.
It ain’t all sunshine and rainbows for this dude, though. We got ourselves an all-hands-on-deck situation with the unexpected arrival of my Mother-in-Law, which sort of isn’t great on its own, but its doubly not great when Sam had planned to relax this week between jobs. But we take what we can get in life, and I got a lot of other stuff to distract me from this unfortunate turn of events.
So with that in mind, with arts-farts-and-distractions especially important this week, let’s hit the column! Just bang it out. Enthusiastically, but with purpose and poise. This is Monday Morning Commute! Join my thick, hairy ass in the comments section with your own happenings this week!
Amazon is in talks to buy MGM for $9 billion. Bezos, Jeff Bezos!
Amazon’s looking to stick its full shaft in the movies game, friends. The Titan has in negotiations to buy MGM for $9 billion and its acquisition would come with properties such as James Bond and The Hobbit. Not too fucking shabby, eh?
‘Grand Theft Auto V’ Dropping On PS5 and Xbox Series X in November. The Eternal Title, Motherfuckers!
Grand Theft Auto V will never die. Long live Grand Theft Auto V. The already announced second remaster of the title is dropping on the new consoles this fucking November. And this dick head? Will be buying it eventually.
‘Attack the Block 2’ is Finally Fucking Happening with John Boyega and Joe Cornish Returning. Moses! Moses!
Holy shit, we’re really getting Attack the Block 2! This shit had been bandied about for so long that I had sort of relegated it to the world of myth. But nah, motherfuckers! It’s happening and John Boyega and Joe Cornish are both returning!
