#Welcome To the Future
Microsoft used offshore accounts to avoid BILLIONS in taxes. Go figure.
…We can’t actually be surprised at corporations gaming the system, can we? Another day, another corporation being like “nah, I’m not going to help build roads or pay teachers.”
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The PHILIPPINES BANS cybersex? I don’t…I can’t…This doesn’t…
I don’t think I would have turned out to be the sterling example of mental stability if I hadn’t gotten to cybersex for hours as an adolescent. AOL chat rooms, IRC, I don’t give a fuck. Male, female, role playing a furry. Don’t matter. Give me. Now that fine country the Philippines wants to bane such an essential part of growing up.
New Orleans was planning on using DRONES to police the Super Bowl. Solid Snake nods.
Police state, wee! New Orleans was planning on using security drones to police the Super Bowl this next February. It didn’t come to pass, but it is a delicious look into the quiet erosion of homeland freedom and the implementation of such measures. Shh! Go to sleep.
The Dude’s High 5s: Artificial Buddies
I don’t know about you, but I really want a robot companion. In most media robots are portrayed as evil. However, there are some that work for the forces of good … or at least less evil. Be it an artificial intelligence or a full bodied robot, I want one. These are the 5 I would take.
Russians admit to have having TRILLIONS of carats of diamonds hidden in asteroid crater. Reality, man.
Only in reality can such nonsense come true. Although, granted, if you believe in the Multiverse then everything is in fact reality. Whatever. A trifling detail.
Scientists developing LASERS to replace needs for pain-free injections? No more passing out for me!
Fuck yeah! Gone are going to be the days when I cave over in nausea from the thought of a needle. Actually, my problem is more germane to the taking of blood. Can’t give any of my hemoglobin without needing some orange juice and a pillow. This is still dope though, lasers and science and fuck yeah!
Scientists make monkeys smarter with BRAIN IMPLANTS. We have learned…nothing.
Didn’t these fucking scientists see Rise of James Franco’s Wild Fucking Apes? Sure, sure. Give these monkeys brain implants. Next thing you know we’re all going to have our faces eaten off as the Great Culling of 2013 unleashes itself upon the world. Shit. Don’t say we didn’t have it coming, I guess.
Police could create IMAGE OF SUSPECT’S FACE from their F**KING DNA. Yeah, science.
I don’t care that this is speculative nonsense, aiight? It is still fun as sheezy to think about. Recreating a suspect’s face from their DNA? Why, it is just the sort of Police State Wet Dream that The Man totally works their prostrate to.
iPHONE 5 ANNOUNCED, MAY/MAY NOT CURE CANCER OR STOP UNIVERSAL ENTROPY.
Seems redundant to even mention it, since every site in the world has covered both its announcement and its specs. However, there is a new iPhone! My dong drips at the idea of purchasing one.
GoDaddy.com and their HOSTED SITES are down. Anonymous is all like, “we did it.”
ANONYMOUS! You dinky faces. Typically I’m down with your hijinks. However today you took down GoDaddy.com, and now a particular Furry Latex Water Sports forum where I commune with fellow misaligned souls is down. I take this as a lesson in cavorting about with meanies. I take it well.
