#Welcome To the Future
Jellyfish may hold key to immortality. And curing cancer. Yeah, okay.
My girlfriend works in biotechnology, and has an understanding about these sorts of topics. Due to this, she cuts deep, contemptuous farts on these sorts of stories. Without hesitation, she will proceed to tell me how the study isn’t conclusive. How it is just something people are hypothesizing on. I weep. Just let me have this sort of pointless pontificating. I need to believe the possibility that my hefty testicles will thwart prostate cancer, living to be a colonizer of Mars.
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Student who was expelled for refusing to wear RFID tag gets temporary hold.
Goddamn Info Warriors! To arms! The Illuminati Police Fascist State writhes against us! Time is that we shall need to don mind-cloaks and rally against them. Know that you are not alone. One such Truth Bastion is refusing to wear an RFID tag at her high school, and now she is facing expulsion. To arms! To arms! Something!
‘GANGNAM STYLE’ is most viewed YouTube video ever. Now let it die.
There can’t be anyone who hasn’t seen “Gangnam Style” at this point, nor do I hope is there anyone who actually enjoys the meme-turned-cultural-cock-wart any longer. Even though the jam makes me want to cut my eyes out, I find the fact that it was such a phenomenon to be interesting. What was seemingly esoteric Internet nonsense spread across the body of the Modern Pop Psyche in ways I never would have imagined. This can only mean one thing. Our consciousness is plummeting into the future William Gibson foresaw.
Video: 4D scan of a fetus YAWNING in the womb. Woah ++
New science-technology wizardy has revealed that we begin our slumberous swagger all up in our mother’s guts. For reasons they’re still trying to figure out, Scientist Wizards have observed a soon-baby yawning. Ain’t easy coming into existence. It’s exhausting.
Router software could boost public WI-FI by 700%. G’damn!
Hack dat software, make dem changes! A change in router software can apparently amp the living tits out of public wi-fi. So when I’m skulking around in the alleyways near Starbucks riding their access for downloading porn and Taylor Swift albums, I can download things more betterer.
‘THE MAN IN THE HIGH CASTLE’ and other Philip K. Dick works getting adapted. Yus ++
There are more Philip K. Dick adaptations coming! Oh golly. If they can pull off a The Man in The High Castle flick with great justice, you’re going to feel my fluids flowing from wherever you are. Having only read it for the first time last year, the sumbitch is still fresh in my head. Still getting my pistons pumping, if you will.
GOOGLE FIBER ripping it up with speeds of 700 Mbps. G’damn.
I’m stuck with Comcast, staring in utter jealousy at Google Fiber. I have the faint desire to cut the cables behind people’s houses in Kansas City. Only problem? Goddamn Mom took away my bicycle after she caught me smoking rat feces in the alleyway behind the bowling alley. Fucking fascist.
Google: Government spying is on the rise. Duh-doi!
Google is dropping knowledge bombs that should surprise approximately no one who reads any sort of tech-geek site. They are slathering us with the tots ph33r that our government is increasing its internet surveillance. Got to catch the bad guys! Watching furry porn.
United Arab Emigrates outlaws online criticism of government. Rookies!
C’mon now, UAE. You a rookie to the whole dumbing down the public thing? Let them have their fun on the Internets. Throw some reality television the public’s way. Get them fat on processed food. The worst thing you can do is outright take away their expression. Bread and circuses, yo.
Victoria’s Secret model hits runway in an ‘EVANGELION’ body suit. Convergence ++
Forget that dildo Justin Beaver dancing around in the background of these pictures. Let us marvel at the fact that some Victoria’s Secret model is totally decked out Rey Ayanami style. Dreams can come true!
