Yahoo is the latest mega-corporation to try and buy their way to coolness. Their acquisition of Tumblr is super-hyper redolent (wrong word) of Facebook buying Instagram. The general populace blase about your existence? Snap up a hot particle and hope that the demographic using it doesn’t notice. I’m not particularly concerned with the occurrence. What I am concerned about is the reaction of all of those Tumblrs out there I follow with great interest. Should they ditch the service in light of the purchase, my Tumblr feed will become yet another parking lot on the info-superhighway. And then where will I go for booty, gaming, more naked pictures, art, comic books, odd fashion I don’t understand, and more ass pictures? Eh?

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The largest bummer about these kind of news stories isn’t that our government is routinely wiping their bum-bum with what we consider to be our rights. The largest bummer is that we usually read this stories aghast, and then go back about watching reality shows and eating cheesy products. Myself included.

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I guess I can go and cancel the fort I was planning on making in the Earth’s inner core. Had some pretty dope plans to begin digging to it this summer while at the beach.I mean, I’m sure it’s still pretty neat and all. It’s just that it is fucking hot.

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Kim Dotcom wants you to know that he isn’t a Pirate, guys. No, no, no. His new pirating service that is probably used exclusively for pirating is actually about security. To prove what a solid guy he is, Kimmy claims he has sunk $20,000 into iTunes purchases. Which, you know, is pretty much shit for a guy rich out his jiggly ass.

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Mothernature isn’t fucking around. If you have any reservations about the truth that robo-lions will one day rip us from our bunks and eat our souls (the nature-cyborg pairing will be tremendous), then just read this story.

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Like I said before. It is time for me to take my latex fetishes and furry orgy requests to carrier pigeon. The days of the Wild Wild Internet (if it ever truly existed) is certainly fading with stunning alacrity. Today the House passed CISPA by a considerable amount, and now it is up to Barry Obama to strike the son of a bitch down. (But let’s be honest, the death of Internet freedom is being shoved down our throat no matter how much we gag.)

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Now those of us who have been hitting the Bitboin Mines will be able to transmute the fantastical currency into potential love. Dating website OKCupid is going to begin accepting Bitcoins for their service, which means that the Winklevoss twins are going to be able to date. A lot. (I actually have no idea how the fucking website works, fuck you.)

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HIV testing normally takes place on machines that cost $30,000. Thanks to some DVD drive modifying up in the heezy, that shit is no more.

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The first lab-grown kidney has been successfully implanted into a rat. Sort of. With these sort of stories, there are caveats all over the fucking place. Still though, still! Hang. Don’t go running off. The actual story is pretty fucking outstanding.

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Maybe it’s because I’m on to the President-is-a-member-of the-Illuminati-Reptile-People conspiracy, but I have a hard time believing that the White House is actually concerned about CISPA. Sure the proles will gobble up this news, but not me. I’m busy watching They Live, and constructing my own set of reptile-revealing glasses. The Truth is out there.

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