#Welcome To the Future
FACEBOOK getting its own set of DRONES. Heyniceokay.
Because — of course. Why wouldn’t Facebook get its own army of drones? It’s the New Black! The coolest list of tech-suaveness. Buy your drones, launch your army, prepare for the great Corporo-Warfare of 20xx Keep Reading »
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Netflix quality is sucking because of CABLE COMPANIES throttling bandwidth. F**kers.
Last weekend the fiancé and I were trying to watch the new season of House of Cards when the fucking quality was bouncing around more than my moods on one of those “Jesus Christ I forgot to take my meds for how many days?” type weeks. I had a sneaking suspicion it had to do with a) the death of Net Neutrality b) bandwidth throttling and c) intergalactic threats from Skrulltopia. Turns out I was right about two of the causes.
U.S MILITARY develops PIZZA THAT IS EDIBLE FOR YEARS.
Finally, my tax dollars at work on something I can get behind. The troops deserve the most delicious of foods, and I think it’s objectively proven that pizza is that food.
Archaeologists find 800,000 year-old footprints in England. Alien masters++
Oh sure you’re going to tell me this is some amazing discovery of human history. “Human” footprints found on a beach in England. YEAH. OKAY. I’ll be goddamned if this isn’t an obvious find regarding our alien masters. The ones that culled our existent DNA from the goop of our primordial sea-cells.
Wee: Scientific American is all “end the ban on psychoactive drug research!”
All across the land, jittery-handed folk are raising their hands! Hoping that Scientific American‘s pean directed at the virtues of psychoactive drug research is heeded! I mean, I mean…why not? I’ve Fringe. Walter Bishop has convinced me that psychoactives allow you to deny space, time, and plot coherence.
Google buys Artificial Intelligence company. Our cyber overlords gain power.
Google is our forthcoming Cyber Over-Lords. Eradicating privacy, buying robot armies, challenging death, and now harnessing the power of Artificial Intelligence. It’s game over man, but who knows. Maybe they’ll give us cookies and milk and pat us on the head.
Netflix continues domination of our brains; colonized 2.33 million new US humans in Q4.
Well, I suppose I don’t have to sweat not getting more House of Cards after season two due to Netflix failure. I mean, maybe Kevin Spacey and I elope and he gives up show business. Maybe. But that’s a horse of a different color. All I know is that it won’t be because Flix can’t afford it. Those fuckers ensnared another 2+ million brains in Q4 of 2013.
Giannis Milonogiannis does ‘ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK.’ F**k yeah.
Came across this on Tumblr. Is it old? Is it new? Does it fucking matter? EscapeFromNewYork+GiannisMilonogiannis = time and space is irrelevant, you lunkhead.
HBO CEO is DOWN WITH us sharing our HBO GO PASSWORDS
Good guy HBO CEO. He’s totally, completely cool with us sharing our HBO Go passwords. What a solid bro! Realizing that Cable Companies are pigs, and we’re just strugglin’ to get by! Oh wait — he’s cool with it because we’re essentially creating addicts out of our fellow consumers. Oh, you sly son of a gun.
Winamp lives! You can’t keep the ancient program down. Or dead.
You can’t keep an old school music-playing program down! A company I haven’t heard of has swoooped in to buy the program I haven’t used in ten years.
