#Welcome To the Future
Oculus Rift is coming to Chuck E. Cheese. Oh word?
Chuck E. Cheese is getting on the fucking Oculus Rift wagon. But at this point, who the fuck isn’t? The company is going to use The Technology of the moment to create a virtual ticket blaster. Though for a kid’s place that amusement seems ill named.
No Comments
Japanese drink company planning to put FIRST AD ON THE MOON
This is real. But, you know. “When deep space exploration ramps up, it’ll be the corporations that name everything, the IBM Stellar Sphere, the Microsoft Galaxy, Planet Starbucks.”
MIND-CONTROLLED PROSTHETIC ARM approved by FDA. Future++
The future is now-now-now! Concerned about getting your fucking arm lopped off by your Dad in a lightsaber battle? Good fucking news! The inventor of the Segway has just gotten approval from the FDA for his mind-controlled prosthetic arm.
Oculus wants to build BILLION-PERSON MMO with Facebook. AIM LOW AMIRITE LOL?
Ah, corporate hyperbole! I love this shit. Tell me all about your hopes and dreams, wizards of crafting press releases! Visionaries with too much money!, pepper me with your Future. And then give me my Snow Crash wet dream, okay?
“LIFE IS JUST A BUNCH OF STUFF, MAN” by Benjamin Santiago = Huzzah.
Maybe? These are leaked pictures of AMAZON’S 3D SMARTPHONE
Here we be! Some “leaked” “maybe” pictures of Amazon’s upcoming 3D smartphone. I’m willing to stake my J-Law puppet collection on them being legit, though.
AMAZON announcing their own SMART PHONE by June
Amazon is making 2014 the year they officially throw down the gauntlet with Google. “No!”, they yell. “We will be SKYNET. Not you!” Fuckers are making moves this year! Ingratiating themselves into every avenue of our distraction-laden lives. Set-top box. Drones. Comixology. Now releasing a phone.
Yahoo diving into ORIGINAL TV PROGRAMMING. ERRBUDDY wants original content.
Everybody, everybody, everybody with original content! Remember when companies started circumventing the cable behemoths? Started producing their own content? It seemed wonderful. Free from constraints! Cut the cords! Valhalla! Now I’m all like “Jesus Christ, what TV Show is on What Streaming Service, again?” I’m lazy, and this splintering is cutting into my attention-deprived psyche. But lord fucking knows, if it’s good, I’ll trot that way anyways.
Amazon reveals their set-top box, “FIRE TV.” $99. Sort of GAMING CONSOLE too.
A new challenger has entered the arena! It seems that everybody, everybody, everybody is in the set-top box game! Amazon’s swaggerlicious little ditty is called “Fire TV”, and if anything it’s pretty cheap.
Facebook building DRONES WITH LASERS to bring INTERNET to errbuddy.
Facebook. Conquering virtual reality. Conquering the Internet with drones. Pretty much just conquering. Your titty pics, and bro-abs are soon going to be soaring through the air courtesy of lasers. Drones. Making them almost seem not completely self-absorbed, banality-core. Right? They’ll just be owned, stapled to the guts of the Monolithic Facebook Intertwebs. (This story is actually about something different. A little. But indulge me.)
