#Welcome To the Future
Google patents a less clunky Google Glass design
I’m a bit torn on Google Glass’ initial design. One half of me is like, “Yes, this is the clunky and obvious cyberpunk design of My Future.” The other half is like, “Yeah, I would never wear this in public.” Google seems to sense this rift in others and myself, and are working towards obscuring the technological magic that powers Glass from plain sight.
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Japan wants a Robo-Olympics in 2020. No, srsly.
Oh! Great fucking idea, Japan. Gather all the fucking robots in the world together in one place for an Olympics. They can start killing us together as one harmonious unit when they look at one another and realize they’re tired of their subjugation by the Clumsy Flesh Bags.
This will end well: DARPA wants to research “predatory” bacteria
It’s a goddamn toss-up these days. A goddamn toss-up between what fucking manmade blight-contagion-robot-apocalypse-eco-disaster will wipe us out. ALL OF THEM — ALL OF THEM having been the centerpiece of a movie at one point. Don’t we heed the warnings Silver Screen?! No, we don’t. I mean Jesus Fucking Christ, DARPA. Predatory bacteria?
Aiight: Oculus building its own VR motion controllers.
I am not a smart man. So I didn’t really know if anyone else was stupefied by how Oculus and other VR Overlords were going to go about controlling their virtual realms. As a champion of teledildonics and shit, I was picturing some sort of fetishistic, haptic-feedback body suit. But I suppose motion controllers are cool too. (I guess.)
Leaked: Samsung’s VR Headset design. Rockin’ that Virtual Boy vibe
Samsung’s virtual reality headset design has hit the internet. Leaked right out the drooling maw of the NetterWebs’ guts. And man, is it Virtual Boy as fuck.
FUTUREGASM: Dubai building world’s first climate-controlled neighborhood
This is the fucking future I want. Or at least I think I want, gazing into my ceiling fan in the evening. Copy of Neuromancer resting on my belly. A vibrating Matrix-themed prostate massager doing its work in my love hole.
Well Then: Amazon offers Hachette authors 100% cut of ebook sales
How is this for some Boardroom Maneuvering? Amazon and Hatchette have been beefing, and that’s left a lot of people opining that it’s the authors getting fucked. Now in what strikes this dumb-ass, completely business-unsavvy dude as a brilliant move, Amazon is offering Hatchette authors a 100% cut of their ebook sales.
OCULUS Buys Design Team Behind Kinect and 360 Controller. Gotta buy em all!
THE OCULUS JUGGERNAUT SHALL NOT BE BOWED BY MORTAL OR DEITY. The company is acquiring talent like a motherfucker, and now they’re starting to snag up companies. The VR Headset That Shall Be has acquired the team that designed the Xbox 360 controller and the original Kinect. Kinect can get fucked and all that, but I’ll be goddamned if I wasn’t madly in love with the 360’s pad.
Amazon gets into cellphone game with ‘FIRE PHONE.’
This Amazon Fire Phone is fucking wild, man. Offering up all sorts of things you probably never wanted in a phone. And unlimited storage for photos, which is actually something that sounds pretty neat. But the rest? I don’t know. An app that turns it into a hot plate for coffee? Eh. Toggle that increases the radiation so you can kill your own cysts? Meh. Do we really need these?
Elon Musk and Tesla Motors have gone OPEN-SOURCE with their Electric Car Patents
It appears that while Elon Musk contemplates making a flying car, he’s letting everyone else get into the electric car game. Musk and Tesla Motors have “opened” the patents to their electronic car vehicle things “in good faith.” I don’t really know what “good faith” means, but if we aren’t somehow subverting these plans to make a plasma cannon from Fallout 3 we’re goofing up.
