Happy Halloweekend, dick heads! Today, my students informed me this weekend, is in fact, Halloweekend. The more know you. I mean, college students use any reason to get hammered. That said, I imagine this will be a weekend of revelry for many, whilst dressed up like assholes and toolbags.

I mean that lovingly, of course.

I’ll be dressed up as well, of course.

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Hey! It’s Weekend Open Bar! What the fuck is going on, you may be wonder! Well, just trying to get together with you folks on OL more often. You know? Been too disconnected as of late. If you’ve forgot, if it’s been too long, let me break down how this works.

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Salutations, fellow denizens of the Space-Ship Omega. It is I, your over-caffeinated, mentally-compromised captain! Why, when I’m not hurtling us into the gaping maw of echo-chamber buffoonery, talking about my own dick (and how it pumped, oh did it pump for the Doom Eternal gameplay), and generally embarrassing myself, I like to open up the Open Bar on the weekend! I know, oh do I know. I’m infrequent these days. Apologies all around. Here, here. Take a moist, poorly-wrapped candy from my pocket. Here, here. Take an I.O.U, redeemable for approximately one brutal high-five and chest-bump.

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Welcome to Weekend Open Bar, my friends!

I’m not dead, not sad, just busy these days my friend! That said, I apologize! How the fucking fuck have you fucking folks been? Me? I feel eerily content. Not euphoric which is rare, not happy which is fleeting, but generally content. I can’t explain it. Or, rather, I suppose I can. Teaching is fantastic, my diet is good, I’m getting a lot of sleep and exercise, and by god, I swear it, yoga fucking works.

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And a pleasant Weekend Open Bar to you all, as well! How’s it going, anyways? Hope you’re as lucky as me, to have the next couple of days to convalesce. And if you don’t? May you find the strength to punch the fucking weekend work day squarely in the throat! Indeed, indeed! Maybe you find the strength to axe-kick its compromised organs, and drink from its futility! Fuck, fuck. I was trying to come in here floaty, relaxed from yoga. That’s a thing I’m doing now, I guess.

Yoga.

Going to my wife’s class on Friday evenings.

I’m as basic and as privileged as they come, but, what do you want from me? I hope some sort of meta, tactic acknowledgement of this can salve my weeping wound which has burst open from leaning into Generica.

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If I’m being honest, I’ve been staring at this fucking blank text box for about a half-an-hour. Intermittently, I’ll hop on tumblr, stare at some asses, and pop back. Waiting, you see, for something to say. But, I don’t have anything! Not today. No friends, no way. I suppose I could prattle on about how I’m happy it’s the Weekend. So fucking happy, too.

So fucking happy, too, despite the fact that it was a short workweek. However, I think this happiness stems from the fact that I genuinely despise my job these days. Not the teaching part. That’s fucking fantastic. Rather, the other miscellany I must put myself through to pay the bills, because the life of an adjunct is tenuous at best. I don’t know! I don’t, seriously. I exist in a weird liminal state these days. I’m between teaching in the Spring, and teaching my summer class. As well, I’m between the Spring semester I just taught, and figuring out what I’m going to do next Spring.

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It’s the weekend open bar!

I know it’s a day late, but it’s a long weekend, so it all comes out in the wash? I hope? How are you fuckers doing today? This weekend? More importantly, what are you fuckers doing today, this weekend?

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Hello, friends! It’s The Weekend Open Bar! Come hang out!

I’m feeling good over here. The weather has finally turned here on the Eastern seaboard of the Empire. My semester has finally ended. And, I’ve gotten consecutive nights of good sleep. All of this is to say is that I’m actually sticking my head out of the Depressive Cocoon I build around myself ever so often, and smiling!

By god, smiling.

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Hell yes, it’s Weekend Open Bar.

What’s up, fellow denizens of the Space-Ship Omega? Me? This guy? I’m celebrating the cessation of the semester! Or, at least, the last full week. Not only that, but it’s the motherfucking weekend! With that in mind, I must cop to you that I’m about to eat too much, sleep too much, play too much, smoke too much, and smile too much.

And, I implore you fellow degenerates to join me in my revelry here in the Open Bar!

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Let’s get weird, motherfuckers! ‘Cause it’s the weekend! Let’s get weird, motherfuckers! Cause it’s the weekend, and it’s the twentieth of April! You know! That day. That probably means nothing to you!

But that said, this week it’s the Weekend Open Dispensary! Ha, get it?

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