Weekend Open Bar! Come one, come all! Step right up into the saloon. Hang your jacket up by the fire, ignoring the blood trails. Step right up to the bar. Order your favorite drink, ignoring the bartender’s third eye. Step right up to the gathering in the corner. Tell me what you’re up to this weekend, ignoring my phlegmy laugh, and the circles under my eyes.

This is the weekly weekend column where we weakly, meekly, or enthusiastically (accounting for everything in-between) hang out. Sharing what we’re looking forward to this weekend. Be our foods, our games, our comics, our books, whatever the case! This is the place. Whatever the case!

Keep Reading »

It’s the Weekend Open Bar! Brought to you on Saturday! Sponsored by extra caloric consumption, really nice weather here on the Northeastern arm of the Empire, and sleeping today until 11:30! How are you doing? Let’s be brief. This is the Weekly Column where we all spend the next couple of Free Days (theoretically you’re free, but realistically you may be like one of many people working) hanging out. Sharing what we’re up to.

Sharing!

Keep Reading »

(Note: I started writing this Friday. It is now Saturday. I apologize. Life, man.)

I’m very excited for this weekend. It’s totally not because I popped a Sudafed for my allergies and it has slicked the synapses of reality, allowing me to glide across Existence with nary a care! I mean, how can you not be excited when it’s the weekend! And the stimulants in your blood tell you Everything Is Okay and Things Will Be Fun This Weekend!? Fuck, Sudafed! Mi amor! Mi amor!

This is Weekend Open Bar! Pop whatever sort of chemical into your bloodstream you want, and come hang out! Pop whatever sort of food into your stomach you want, and come hang out! Pop pop pop! Whatever you want! Everything is allowed, save for snark and bite. We keep it positive here, folks.

Keep Reading »

Man, we got Presidential candidates debating dusty tomes from days of yore and their dick sizes. Man, they’re doing that while we got the entire universe to explore. Man, we got people vigorously arguing over the quality of men in tights and their moving picture shows. Man, they’re doing that while the Cosmos offers us escape. While the Cosmos offers us resources. While the Cosmos offers us Hope.

Keep Reading »

I should really write these things on Thursday. In that case the column wouldn’t really be written during The Weekend when I composed it, but you would be none the wiser! Temporality is a lie! We sit upon the string, God and Her Ones looking down upon us, just a swift step to the left of linear-time-space. And we are all none the wiser! What would we do if we could perceive the non-linear linearity of our own linear-time-space! Me? I’d probably just smoke more weed and play more video games. Same as usual, just twisting the knob a bit more to the left.

Swift steps to the left, twist knobs to the right! What the fuck am I even doing here?

Oh yeah! Weekend Open Bar! The weekly one-stop outpost where all the Empresses and Emperors of their own Existential Ship can dock for a bit. Share what they’re up to during the weekend. Be it the food they’re eating, the turds they’re taking, the lovers they’re taking, the souls they’re eating. Whatever the case. The movies, books, gifs, and games!

Keep Reading »

Yeah! It’s Saturday. And I’m just opening up this weekend’s Open Bar. Which means, since OL is already pretty quiet these days, that it’s just going to be me rambling to myself about what I’m doing this weekend. That’s fine! I’ve brought this upon myself. I’ve brought this upon myself! But this is Weekend Open Bar, and name is Ian Omega-Caffeine Powered-Xavier Thunderkick.

Keep Reading »

Hello, friends. Come in, come in. Grab your voucher for a free download of RelaxYourFatCorpus.exe and let the soothing algorithms greetyour meat-processor. It’s the weekend. This is the OpenBar. The weekly one-stop for the populace of Space-Ship OMEGA to gather. Take off our shoes. Take off our pants. Shake one another’s hands (?). Then straight DigiChill.

Keep Reading »

Oh come all ye degenerates, the Bar is Open. It’s the Weekend. Let us gather around the slime-soaked tavern fire, spitting whimsy and regret. Spitting about what we’re doing this weekend. Be it a movie we’re going to see, a meal we’re going to eat, a transdimensional omnisexual Manta-Beast we’re going to bang.

Keep Reading »

I’m getting real shit at publishing a weekend column at the start of the weekend. Man! Fuck! But yesterday was busy, hopscotching from work, to dinner with a mentor, to an entire bag of Sour Patch Watermelons, to staring at the IdiotBox for three or so hours. I’m here now, though, and I’m hoping I can lure you in as well! This is Weekend Open Bar, the weekly column where we all hang out.

Keep Reading »

It’s Weekend Open Bar! Let’s kick this off. With alacrity! The weekly column where the reckless degenerates and-or savory, wonderful souls of Space-Ship Omega gather. Holding hands, holding eye contact, we discuss with vim and vigor our Weekend Plans.

Keep Reading »