#Video Games
Beloved game developer Ikumi Nakamura is starting her own indie game studio. Hell yes!
Ikumi Nakamura is far, far more than a beloved presenter from E3 2019. She’s also contributed to fucking fantastic titles like The Evil Within, Bayonetta, and Okami. Now she’s bringing those talents to her own indie game studio, and I’m fucking pumped.
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Report: Nintendo using NIVIDIA’s DLSS to upscale graphics to 4K on upgraded Switch model. I don’t know what this fucking means!
If you believe reports, Nintendo is going to lean on NVIDIA’s DLSS tech for 4K graphics in the upgraded Switch model dropping this year. What exactly is DLSS tech? Apparently it’s some sort of fucking super sampling that, uh, does stuff. I don’t know. I don’t care. Just give me a fucking 4K Switch, please and thank you.
Microsoft has rebranded Xbox Live as Xbox Network for dumb and silly reasons!
Listen, at the end of the day I don’t give two flying fucks about what Xbox Live is called. Is that because I’m always going to call it Xbox Live? Yup! But if you’re concerned about accuracy, motherfucker, it’s called Xbox Network now. K!
‘Gotham Knights’ has been delayed until 2022. This year is for gaming backlogs, friends!
Motherfucking backlogs are the stars of 2021, fellas! ‘Cause game after game is getting delayed! The most recent? Gotham Knights! I don’t blame the motherfuckers doing the delaying. I can only that developing titles during a pandemic is a straight pain in the ass. So while this shit sucks, it’ll let me polish off the, like, thirty titles I’m halfway into.
Sony has bought fighting game competition Evo. Like, woah, what the fuck?
Sony ain’t taking Microsoft buying fucking everything laying down. Motherfuckers have bought the world’s largest fighting game competition, Evo. Which is sort of cool, right? But at the same time, it can’t sniff the jockstrap of acquiring Bethesda.
Rockstar pays modder $10,000 for fixing ‘GTA Online’ loading times. Dude, I have the wrong skills.
You know how a modder, like a month back or some shit, found a fix for GTA Online‘s load times? Well, that motherfucker is now $10,000 richer. After implementing dude’s fix, Rockstar paid the dude for his services. Talk about a wild, wild fucking future. Also, fuck me. I really have the wrong sort of skill sets. Unless Rockstar is looking for someone to write very expensive press releases which involve sentences about jizz and Mountain Dew. In which case, I’m about to be fucking loaded.
‘Assassin’s Creed’ producer Jade Raymond forming new independent studio Haven to work on unannounced new IP for PlayStation!
Folks, star producer Jade Raymond is forming a new studio to work on a new IP for PlayStation. You know, I don’t think Sony realized they’d benefit when Google hired Jade Raymond away from UbiSoft. Google fucking folded, Raymond became a free agent, and now she’s working on a new IP for PlayStation. What a fucking fortuitous turn of events for the company, no?
Xbox Chief says Bethesda deal is going to deliver “great exclusive games” and maybe my Xbox Series X will get turned on!
As a gaming glutton, I received the Xbox Series X for Christmas. You know, after already owning a PlayStation 5. However, the motherfucker has sort of just sat there, awaiting exclusive games worth playing. I had a hunch they’d arrive eventually, given the impending Bethesda deal. Now? Now I officially know. Today, the motherfucking Microsoft Czar Phil Spencer confirmed the Bethesda deal is going to deliver “great exclusive games” which is equal parts not surprising and awesome news. For me.
‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ are getting a new retro beat-’em-up and I’m fucking stoked!
Holy shit, friends. We are getting a spiritual successor to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time. The motherfucker is called Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge, and it’s got the right retro look and feel to get me throbbing.
Microsoft confirms some future Bethesda games will be Xbox and PC exclusive. Fucking obviously.
Microsoft has confirmed what should have been fucking obvious. Namely, some future Bethesda games will be exclusive to XBOX and PC. You don’t spend fucking $7.5 billion to give PlayStation all your dope games.
