#Video Games
PlayStation Studios Working On 25+ Games and ‘Horizon: Forbidden West’ Still On For 2021. Fuck Yes!
I’ve complained a lot about Sony’s dumb-ass moves this generation. I know, I know. But their first-party titles will have me continuing to pay fealty, and Jesus Fucking Christ are there a lot of them coming. In fact, them motherfuckers got over 25 games in the works and some of them are new IPs. Dope, dope fucking news. Also dope fucking news? Horizon: Forbidden West is still on for 2021, baby!
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Nintendo Switch Has 36 Million-Seller Titles. Jesus Fuck, This Thing Doesn’t Slow Down!
The Nintendo Switch just runs around the fucking ring, discus-lariating any motherfucker that gets in its way. It’s unstoppable, fucking unstoppable. This son of a bitch as 36 million-seller titles, and I imagine that ain’t the final count.
Sony Has Invested in Discord, Will Bring it to PlayStation in 2022. This Matters To Me Now!
Hey, did you know we have a fucking Discord? Yup! We do. It’s been getting going lately, and we’ve assembled a real collection of vagabonds, degenerates, and filth peddlers. In other words, a fantastic crew. Why is that relevant? Well, motherfucking Sony has announced they’ve invested in Discord, and they’ll be bringing that shit to PlayStation next year. That means I’ll be able to interact with said vagabonds, degenerates, and filth peddlers from the comfort of my PlayStation next year!
Every Single Activision Studio Works On ‘Call Of Duty’ Now. Like, What The Fuck?
I’ve always known that Activision spends a lot of time, money, and talent on keeping the fat tits of the Call of Duty franchise milkable. Like I knew it was a Leviathan, but this news is fucking insane. It turns out that every single studio the company owns works on the franchise. Every single one! Which totally sucks in its own way. But, it doubly sucks when you think of all the games these talented developers are pulled off of.
Epic Games Has Bought ArtStation and Cut Artist Fees On Its Online Marketplace. Is This Good?
I sort of assume whenever a fucking monstrous entity swallows a smaller one that it’s fucking bad news. That said, apparently Epic Games is going to lower the fees that artists had to pay while selling shit on ArtStation. So, like, that’s good? I don’t know, man. All I do know is that I’ve seen some fucking dope-ass art on the site, and I hope this shit helps out the folks producing it.
CD Projekt Red Only Refunded 30K Copies of ‘Cyberpunk 2077’ Out of 13M Sold. I’m Honestly Impressed.
I have to fucking admit, I’m stunned that CD Projekt Red only refunded 30,000 copies of Cyberpunk 2077. Out of fucking 13,000,000! Now, there’s obviously an important fucking caveat. This tally does not include the amount of copies Sony refunded. However, it’s a pretty fucking shockingly small number given how many people absolutely deplored the game. In fact, those motherfuckers who shipped the broken-ass game had a pretty good year. They took in a cool $560 million in revenue. Not bad for the company behind the worst launch in gaming history, right?
PlayStation Plus Is Getting Video Pass Service According to Leak. You Fucked Up, Fellas!
Whelp! According to a leak it looks like PlayStation is getting itself a video pass service. I’m already subscribing to PlayStation Plus, so this news doesn’t do anything for me. However, even if I wasn’t, this shit wouldn’t move the needle. But if it makes you horny, I’m happy for you!
‘Overwatch’ Game Director Jeff Kaplan Is Leaving Blizzard. Man, Their Talent Drain Is Fucking Insane
It seems like, you know, pretty much everyone is leaving Blizzard these days. I’m not going to spend the time googling to corroborate this claim, I just know that I vaguely recollect some news stories, and I feel the truth in my balls. The latest major talent to leave the company? Overwatch game director Jeff Kaplan.
Konami Has Filed New Japanese Trademarks For ‘Castlevania’ and ‘Metal Gear Rising’ Like They Still Make Games Or Something!
Well, ain’t this shit interesting. Konami has filed new Japanese trademarks for both Castlevania and Metal Gear Rising. Could this mean they’re actually making new fucking installments in the titles? Furthermore, do they even have the talent in-house to do the franchise justice anymore? In fact, reports in February had them outsourcing the franchises. If so, who is going to get them? Who fucking knows! Intriguing though, no?
‘Celeste’ Developer Teases Next Game ‘Earthblade’ With A “Vibe Reveal” and What The Fuck Are We Saying?
What the fuck is a vibe reveal? I only ask because apparently that’s what the developer of Celeste has done for their next game, Earthblade. I’m getting fucking old, nothing makes sense. My balls hang lower, and the young ones’ slang evades me. I don’t know! I don’t know about my place in this Universe. However, I do know that I’m fucking stoked for Earthblade, given that Celeste fucking owns. Even if a vibe reveal has me feeling ancient.
