#Video Games
‘Death Stranding’ Gamescom Trailers: There is Pee Gameplay and Interdimensional Breast Feeding. Kojima, like, what the fuck?
I can tell you one thing for certain: I have no fucking idea what Death Stranding is going to be. Outside of, you know, absolutely fucking crazy. Pissing gameplay? Breastfeeding across dimensions?
Hit the jump for more details, and an additional trailer.
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‘Disintegration’ Trailer: Meet the new FPS from the co-creator of ‘Halo’ which totally doesn’t feel aesthetically like ‘Destiny’
Like, who knows how Disintegration will play. But, based on the trailer? Holy fucking Destiny aesthetic vibes, dudes.
Sony is buying ‘Spider-Man’ developer Insomniac Games. Holy first-party exclusives, yo!
Sony is buying Insomniac Games. You may know those motherfuckers as the developer behind Spider-Man and Ratchet & Clank. Two fantastic-ass franchises. What does this shit mean? Well, there’s very little to differentiate Sony and Microsoft these days, outside of their console-exclusives. And, with Sony dominating that avenue this generation, it seems like they ain’t fucking planning to quit dominating anytime soon.
As well, shout out to our own NeoSapian for first letting me know about this!
‘Halo Infinite’ creative director quits, after being reassigned. Ain’t that grand news for the incredibly important title!
Halo Infinite has lost its creative director. After they were reassigned. But, no pressure, Halo Infinite. Microsoft has merely hyped you up as the very important launch title for their next console. No pressure! Things seem to be going swimmingly for you, anyways.
Blizzard warns that ‘WoW: Classic’ realm queues will be starting at 10,000. Have with that fun, friends!
I don’t think I’m going to play WoW: Classic. I could be wrong. But, I think most people who are excited by it are chasing a nostalgia-high that won’t last long when met with the actual content. That said? I certainly won’t be trying it right away. 10,000 person queue? Holy fuck.
Microsoft ain’t working on a streaming-only Xbox, despite what we all heard this year. Personally? I don’t give a shit.
Friends, the streaming revolution ain’t arriving as soon as we expected. Sure, Google has revealed Stadia. But, neither Sony nor Microsoft is ready to go in dick-first. At least not quite yet. This isn’t a surprise on Sony’s part. However, everyone was readying themselves at E3 for Microsoft’s Big Streaming Reveal. And that shit didn’t happen, and apparently won’t be anytime soon.
New ‘Saints Row’ game is “deep in development” and I’m so ready to be meta-textual, ultra-violent trash again!
A new Saints Row game is deep in development? Oh happy days! Oh, happy days. Honestly, I never expected to play another installment. But here we fucking are!
Nintendo seems to be bringing an SNES Switch controller according to an FCC filing. Hell yeah, that old school feel!
Playing local co-op on the Switch is fucking fun, dudes. However, it’s not as fucking fun as it could be, because the Joy-Cons are so fucking tiny. But there seems to be a solution coming down the line. Fine, another solution. I know you’re going to tell me the Pro Controller exists. This solution? A fucking SNES controller!
‘Red Dead Redemption 2’ sales hit 25 million, which is both insane, and nothing compared to the sales pace of ‘Grand Theft Auto V’
Red Dead Redemption 2 has sold 25 million copies. Pretty sweet! As well, it has sold 1 million since May. Also, pretty sweet! But, man. When you compare it to GTA V sales? Drops in a bucket. Which is more of a monument to the latter, than a condemnation of the former.
Huge ‘No Man’s Sky’ update ‘BEYOND’ is dropping August 14, and, again, fuck I need to play it!
What the fuck am I waiting for? By all indications, No Man’s Sky is the perfect game for me. Get high, chill out, explore space! Will the upcoming BEYOND update be the moment I jump in? There’s a good possibility.
