Greetings earthlings. Lower case e on earth because the universe doesn’t know or care about us filthy apes. I’m Contingency Plan, filthy ape among you. I previously did cool things like play in bands and record albums so like most pretentious musicians, I think my opinion matters. I’m here to bore you with buzzwords and catch phrases like ‘earworm’, ‘sick riff’, ‘synergry’ and other banality. Still, if someone buys an album that they truly enjoy that they hadn’t heard of before this column, that’s a win in my book.

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