#Star Wars
‘Star Wars’ News: Marvel’s ‘Shattered Empire’ begins the bridge to ‘The Force Awakens’
The Dead Mouse, Darth Vader’s Exploited Husk, and Marvel are teaming up to bridge the gap to The Force Awakens. The company announced as such earlier this week, revealing they’re dropping a fucking colossal twenty books (comics, novels, et cetera, whatever) to bridge the gap between Jedi and The Force Awakens. The first of which shall be Marvel’s Shattered Empire.
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‘Star Wars’ Rumor: ‘Kingsman’ dude Taron Egerton up for Young Han Solo
So the dude from the movie I still haven’t fucking seen (Kingsman) is maybe/possibly up for Young Han Solo.
‘Star Wars’ Non-News: J.J. Abrams kicking off ‘Star Wars Celebration’ in “big (fucking) way”
Oh golly glory fucking shit-tits. Jar Jar Abrams is apparently kicking off Star Wars Celebration this April in a “big way.” Which means to this uneducated slob that the jealousy-inspiring fools in attendance are going to get some fucking Force Awakens trailer hotness.
‘Star Wars’ Non-News: Theme Park plans coming soonz!!!
I went to Harry Potter World last month in Orlando. It was fucking awesome. Staggering around Diagon Alley was like, straight-up existing in a magical world. And I wasn’t HIGH. It was THAT CONVINCING. But all I could think while I was there, of course, was “Man, I need a Star Wars experience like this.”
‘Star Wars’ Standalone News: Felicity Jones is the lead, Edgar Ramirez & Aaron Paul for male lead
WE HAVE BEEN FUCKING HAD! Here I was all celebrating my Orphan Blackian victory, after news hit that Tatiana Maslany won the role in the Star Wars standalone. But now it’s confirmed that it’s Felicity Jones? WHO?! JKmaybesheiswonderful. I’m just not familiar. Oh! And SOLO, BITCH! is still a possibility.
‘Star Wars’ Standalone Non-News: Chris Weitz now writing the movie
Chris Weitz is now in charge of writing the Star Wars standalone. This is after Gary Whitta‘s (planned, maybe) departure a couple of weeks ago. Weitz is known for movies. About A Boy, The Golden Compass, and other things. Hey okay whatever!
‘Star Wars’ Standalone Rumor: Han Solo and Boba Fett are in same movie
*DISNEY-LUCASFILM DARK CULT BRAINSTORMING SESSION* – “WHAT DO PEOPLE FUCKING LOVE IN STAR WARS?” “THEY FUCKING LOVE BOBA FETT” “FUCK YEAH! AND FUCKING HAN SOLO!!!” *ENTIRE ROOM HUFFS SOCKS FULL OF CRUSTED SHIT, MOANING AND RUBBING THEIR TITS* *IN UNISON* “WHAT IF WE MADE A MOVIE WITH FUCKING BOTH OF THEM?!!??!”
