I don’t know how fucking old this is on the internets. Probably a million, zillion years. So calm down, judgmental jackholes. I just found this. What happens when you take the Olsen Twins, throw in some DRANK, codeine and yummy-belly style, and mash-up an old song of theirs? Oh, only probably your nightmares.

Hit the jump for the video.

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Today marks the 15th anniversary of Summerslam `95. Although the card was pretty much filler, it was redeemed by one of the greatest matches of all time – the second ladder match between Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon. A rematch of their Wrestlemania X bout, these guys upped the ante by rocking two ladders and incorporating them into their signature moves.

Hit the jump to relive the pinnacle of professional wrestling.

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You have to hand it to the fucking Japanese. They’re like a land of Roman Polanskis. Their latest amazing exercise in quasi-perverosity is a Droid app that uses the thought of humping barely-legal anime chicks to get you fit.

Kotaku:

Android app “Issho ni Training” (Training Together) features a 16-year-old anime lady named Hinako in skimpy clothes exercising. The app encourages folks to work out in tandem with the anime lady and even tracks their progress through an array of sit-ups, push-ups and squats.

It’s fucking remarkable, yo. It’s really eerie though, too. You set up your cell-phone on top of a giant pillow that looks like Hinako and you hump. And hump. Yeah man, it’s blowing my fucking mind. When something strikes me as creepy, you know something is up.

Hit the jump for a fucking video of this creepiness in motion. You’ll be changed.

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This dude is my new hero, a benchmark for modern culture, and an athlete of epic proportions.

via destructoid:

There’s a new gold standard for heroism in the world. A man was able to nab not one, but two Xbox 360s from a Beavercreek, Ohio Best Buy while carrying a diaper bag and a real live baby! I’m sorry, but that kind of brazen feat deserves a golf clap.

The mystery man, described as 6ft, 250 pounds and balding, grabbed two consoles and lefts with them under his arm while carrying the child. He then got into his Kia Spectre and sped off, allegedly without even securing the baby in its seat. Although on the surface this looks like bad parenting, we can’t rule out the fact that the baby was in on the scam, and possibly the brains of the operations.

Good damn damn and a golf clap to this man! The economy sucks! He’s probably unemployed, dismissed by The Man from wherever he works. How the fuck else is he going to be able to co-op on Xbox Live with his buddy from the same room when Halo: Reach drops? Tell me fucking how! It’s bad enough his old Xbox 360 fucking RROD’d and he couldn’t afford to ship it out for repairs.

This man is simply a product of our system. And I like him.

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I can’t stop watching this video.

[courtesy: slashfilm]

What happens when you mash-up Captain Kirk and Ke$ha? You get pure, odd win.

Yesterday, in the white-noise factory of whirling cooling systems, soccer moms with fupas and shitty super-processed hair styles. In the dome of monotony of shining packages with clamoring advertising lines. I scour the many sexy packages that call to me, my childish mentality consistently amused by their saccharin and bright plastic lights. Spying some tampons, I come across a brilliant, cost-cutting and effective idea in the rotting walls of my skull-mush.

Caffeine Powered: …If I was a girl, I think I’d use a shamwow for my periods. Just wring that shit out at the end of the night.

Lady Caffeine: Oh my god.

I’m not going to brag, but I think I’m on to something brilliant for these recession-laden times.

Bonzai, motherfucker!

It’s scientifically known that Krang is a fucking bad ass. So when I came across this today at Comics Alliance, I unleashed the secret of the ooze in my pants.

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[via oh have you seen this]