I have to admire this dude’s moxie. There’s a certain amount of insanity that it takes to get a tattoo of a character in a costume that looks awful out of context  and may very well look awful in context  tattooed to your arm a year before the movie comes out. An insanity I can relate to.

Hit the jump to check her out in all her glory.

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Anonymous has become synonymous  with their use of Guy Fawkes masks in public. An unforeseen correlation is the driving up of profits for WB, a fat cat corporation who makes mad money off the sales of these masks. The irony. It’s delicious. I am ladling it into my mouth. Yum!

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Holy smokes. Today marks the antepenultimate day of August 2011. Goddamn, not only am I traveling to the future, I feel like I’m heading there faster than ever. It’s weird – my flesh-wrapped time machine seems to accelerate at the same rate as its own cellular death. The less of vehicle I have, the more appealing the destination on the horizon seems.

Tomorrow’s tomorrow may have moonbases and Martian settlements, but let’s hope it’s also got robotic replacements for the components under my time machine’s hood.

Once again, welcome to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE — OL’s attempt to lubricate the spiritual meatus so that the workweek’s prickly-thrust don’t sting so bad! In short, I’m going to show you the various bits of entertainment I’ll be using to fend off stress and boredom. After reading, you’re encouraged to hit up the comments section and show off your own recipe for life-enrichment.

Time to rock and roll.

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NMA is at it again. They’ve churned out a video recounting the life of the former Apple CEO turned Full-Time ninja. As you’d expect, it’s fucking insane. Anal computer birthing, Toy Story cabbage patch dancing, and Darth Gates. Get some.

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You have to tip your cap to this man. He drove a semi-truck into an porn store, in order to gain access to the jack-off device of his balls’ dreams. An $800 sex toy complete with poon and bung to fill with his seed. You need to see the news clip, it’s as utterly ridiculous as the news story. Including the phrase “he wasn’t screwing around, either!”

Hit the jump for the video.

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This origin, probably the true one that Wayne Corporation has paid to cover up, comes courtesy of a toy in a Chinese dollar store. Outstanding.

If anyone doesn’t think the United States of America is the best country, they can be persuaded with this video. It’s Brock Lesnar blasting  prairie dogs with enormous guns while righteous metal is shredding in the background. Still not sold? Motherfucker pounds jerky between shots, loading up on salt-soaked flesh to power his insane blood lust. It’s all an advertisement for Fusion Ammo and Jack Link’s jerky. The same ammo that was used to stop Lenin during the Civil War from destroying the Alamo.

Hit the jump for the video, bask in our culture of domination.

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Friars in Italy don’t fuck around. Cross them, and they’re going to dedicate some serious time to bringing about a case of swamp-ass on you. Or at least try. Recently a bible thief snagged a rare bible and its replacement from the church San Salvator al Monte in Florence, Italy. The friaers were so cheesed they asked the lord to rain Mud from the Cheeks of this sinner.

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Clearly he’s crossed paths with the Wizard.

Lyle Monroe Bensley broke into a lady’s apartment and bit her neck. Bensley claimed that he was a vampire, and if that’s case can’t we float the kid the pass? The blood thirst!, I mean it totally clouds what is certainly an otherwise rational lad.

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