Kanye West! Creative Director of the Jetsons movie? Makes total sense. In a world where nothing makes sense such as we inhabit.

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I respect his endeavor, but everyone knows that Raphael is the brooding bestie of that gang of ass-kicking reptiles. They are reptiles, right?

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Some poor bastard is suing Pepsi, claiming that there was a dead mouse in his can. You know, assuming he is telling the truth and is actually just dumb enough to not notice himself pouring a mouse into his mouth. Pepsi’s retort? Bro, our soda can dissolve that shit. Wait, wut?

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Jaws Ride: The Movie has closed. Some kind of chocolatey, goopy bullshit. Mourning hard? Wicked hahd? You can pay respects in this fucking glorious simulator.

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A cameo role is defined as “a minor part played by a prominent performer in a single scene of a motion picture or a television play.”   These brief, often uncredited appearances titilate the viewers, causing them to hop in their seats and shout, “Oh, I know him! He’s in this movie? Awesome! Thank the LAWD!”

Sure, cameo roles are often nothing more than cheap publicity stunts, but at their best they’re   jolly-good fun!

There is a debate to be had about who can claim the title of ultimate cameo-master. On the one hand, some might cite Alfred Hitchcock as classic cinema’s cameo-Jedi, as he inserted himself into thirty-nine of his movies. However, there’s something to be said for those actors who’ve racked up fewer cameos of higher quality. Perhaps quality should be given precedence over quantity.

Think of Walken in Pulp Fiction or NPH in the original Harold and Kumar flick.

When all’s been considered, one man stands above all others as the true master of the cameo: Matt Damon.

From his debut in 1988’s Mystic Pizza to his December 2011 appearance on SNL, Matt Damon charmed us with brevity. The dude knows how to hop onto our screens, put smiles on our faces, and then peace out. Matt Damon elevates the cameo from the depths cheap PR stunts to the highest echelons of art.

Don’t believe me? Hit the jump and check out the (hardly comprehensive) smattering of Damon-cameos!

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Today is January 2nd, the nightcap on what is typically thought of as the holiday season. The wrapping paper’s been discarded, the ornaments have been put back in the box, and Uncle Bosco’s been evicted from his spot on the couch. This our last chance to sample the holiday pastries before their thrown out, to empty the champagne bottles into our guts when no one’s looking, and to lounge around in sweatpants without worrying about judgment.

This is a glorious day.

I’m doing my best to revel in this final moment of jubilation, as I know that when tomorrow hits I’m going to be a miserable bastard. I don’t hate my job, but it’s incredibly time consuming and I often find myself dreaming of finding a job that’s less demanding, even if that’s synonymous with less lucrative. Which is kind of insane, because I don’t exactly make mad cheddy-donkies right now.

I know I’m not alone.

And thus, I present the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! This is OL’s weekly 9-5ers Anthem, the spot where we share our strategies for surviving the workweek. After you check out the various bits of entertainment I’ll be using to salvage my sanity, hit up the comments section and show off your wares.

Let’s do this.

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Some dude in China up and spent $16,000. For a virtual sword. It gets even more bananas frappe! It’s on virtual sword for a game that isn’t even released yet.

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Here’s a grandmother holding it the fuck down to some dubstep on a Christmas morning. This video is eerily prescient of the sort of behavior I expect out of my Mom when she turns 94. Another thirty+ years of Brothers Omega corruption can only guarantee it.

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The drug game is hard to break into, ya know? Can’t just roll up into somebody’s turf, let alone establish yourself as a reputable source. How did one dude do it? Started dressing up as the fucking Incredible Hulk. It brought ++ attention, which unfortunately (unfortunately?) led to +++ prison time.
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